Editorial Review

In Run Like a Mother, authors Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea offer both inspirational advice and practical strategies to help multitasking women make running part of their busy lives.

McDowell and Shea understand the various external and internal forces in everyday life that can unintentionally keep a wife--mother--working woman from lacing up her shoes and going for a run. Because the authors are multihyphenates themselves, Run Like a Mother is driven by their own running expertise and real-world experience in ensuring that running is part of their lives.

More than a book, Run Like a Mother is essentially a down-to-earth, encouraging conversation with the reader on all things running, with the overall goal of strengthening a woman's inner athlete.

Of course, real achievement is a healthy mix of inspiration and perspiration, which is why the authors have grounded Run Like a Mother in a host of practical tips on shoes, training, racing, nutrition, and injuries, all designed to help women balance running with their professional and personal lives. ... Read more

Reviews

An inspiring read to make you lace up the shoes
I bought this book with a lot of hope and some trepidation. I'm a lapsed runner, and my last serious race dates back to the postpartum year after my first child was born, when I was eager to show myself I still had my athletic mojo. I just had my fifth child, and ordered this book to help me get inspired again. The authors' voices are real, thankfully, and the essays are honest and accessible. The training tips are great, because they're rooted in an understanding all the things mom use as excuses NOT to run. But what got me really lacing up my shoes again was the page full of short quotes by women saying how they feel after running. Powerful. Competent. Strong. Optimistic. It was like a quadruple dose of any of those herbal mood-boosters hocked by health magazines!

So relatable, it's sick!
Since finding this book (and blog! and tweets!), I have been completely entertained and inspired and able to connect with a whole new community of runner-mamas.

This book is so utterly relatable, it is sick! Even as a newbie runner! The moments of "O-M-G! That is EXACTLY how I feel" were countless, as a mom, spouse, runner, wannabe writer and overall multi-tasking-life balancer.

The book inspired me, me made me laugh out loud causing my fellow commuter train riders to stop and stare (As soon as I would snort, I would hold up the book so everyone would get a peek...long enough for them to write down the title and and go buy it themselves!)

This is my go-to book for prezzies for my runner mama friends and has saved the day with some much needed inspiration after the oh-let-it-be-over ugly runs.

I savored every chapter like a rich ooey-gooey chocolately dessert and was thrilled to find more even more witty (and oh so true!) writing online through the blog runlikeamotherbook.com.

Seriously, check it out, you won't be disappointed.

I'm not a mother, but could still relate
I bought this book after hearing about it from several people. As my title says, I'm not a mother, but I could relate to most of the book.

I found the writing very easy to follow--as if it were a conversation--and refreshing. I laughed out loud at some things and it gave me that little "umph" to get back to my running. I felt like I got to know Dimity and Sarah, just by following along in their journeys.

I would definitely recommend this to others.

For Female Athletes Everywhere
Run Like a Mother feels like one of those conversations you have with a friend on a long run. It's a book that all female athletes can relate to, regardless of motherhood status or running experience. However, for those of us who both run marathons and mother small children, it's an especially relatable book. At times it's part memoir--telling of Sarah's and Dimity's journeys as runners and marathoners (including a few race reports!), and other times it's more like a helpful training manual--giving advice on running gear, nutrition, and staging a post-pregnancy comeback. You won't find a 16-week marathon training plan in here, but you'll emerge from this book knowing what worked and didn't work for Sarah and Dimity as they trained. As a running coach, I liked the technical talk about running 8 X 400 meters and other training-specific tidbits. But as a mother and a fellow female athlete, I think I most enjoyed the deeply personal revelations about body image, weight, marriage, and mothering. I loved the personal essay format. By the end of the book, you'll feel like you have two new friends: Sarah Bowen Shea and Dimity McDowell.

Inspiring and laugh out loud entertaining
I'm a mother of two and a fairly competitive runner (with myself). I love this book. The writers are honest and get right down to what is real. And this is what makes some of the excerpts laugh out loud funny. I so relate! But likewise, it is very honest about how difficult it is to run and be a strong runner while balancing kids and family. I read it an excerpt at night night for inspiration for the next day. It sounds corny, but I do. After having D, I know how hard it is to keep the fitness up. So many days I'd rather sit and hold the baby and be at home. But running makes me feel real, at peace and clean. I know this, but I also need the push. The pull, at times, is strong to stay home with the "kidlets." So thanks gals!

Clothing tips, stories about racing, training, just everyday runs and how to pull yourself out of bed to get out on the road. Pregnancy and running, recovering from giving birth and beginning to run again and all that is involved in that. Right on and inspirational! The quotes and facts from regular runners make me feel part of a great club of women who push each other and support one another in our every day struggles to make the run happen. Totally inspiring. Sarah and Dimity know runners! And I totally feel a closer bond to all the mommy runners out there. I'm going to buy this book for all my mommy running friends.

I just bought the book for my friend who is off to Boston in a week and am giving it to so she can indulge on her plane ride there. She has two kids, 5 and 3 and worked her butt off to get to Boston.

A Must Read
I purchased this book when I was training to walk/run my first half marathon in my life. As I am not a runner per se I was skeptical about how much this book would pertain to me. I was pleasantly suprised. The book is well written and truly is a must read for anyone who is a ruuner or thinking about becoming a runner. The book is entertaining, informative and fun. It also would make a great gift for a runner in your life.

Run Like A Mother Will Give You The Strength For Motherhood
I love running. I especially love running as a mom. It is my "me" time, my recharge time and one of the few things that is just for me. I so enjoyed every bit of this book from the humor to the tips. I love any book that inspires moms to take care of themselves and to realize that they can run, will love to run and deserve to run!

Thank you Sarah and Dimity for giving a shout out to Stroller Strides!

Read like a runner
A friend of mine recommended this book to me as a new runner, and she was right! It's motivational and informative. I read part of it while on an airplane and it was all I could do not to run up and down the aisle! A great read for all running mothers!

Great book for lady runners
This one's for the ladies. The ones who like to move and move fast. It's called Run Like a Mother: How to Get Moving and Not Lose Your Family, Job, or Sanity by Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea. It all started with two women who had just had children, trying to get back into running shape. They decided to pitch an article to Runner's World about their journey. That whole experience with them trying to balance family, work, and running lead them to write this book.

There is a lot of great advice in here for runners of all ages, but it is geared toward time crunched mothers who have to consider their families in their decisions. They give advice on nutrition, racing, finding motivation, and managing children and husbands. Their insight is both humorous and helpful. This is a great read for women athletes who can relate to the authors' experiences and find inspiration in their successes.

Absolute greatness
This book was absolutely wonderful. I have really enjoyed reading it and saddened by finishing the final chapter. The words of Sarah and Dimty really stayed with me - during runs, during my wanting to not run. I am buying this as gifts for all my running mother friends. I laughed out loud and found myself saying "thank you" for touching on all subjects that us mothers want to ask, but are afraid to. Loved it!!!! ... Read more

Editorial Review

This book was converted from its physical edition to the digital format by a community of volunteers. You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery. ... Read more

Reviews

Contents, August 17, 2010
This book, dated 1903, opens with an essay titled "A Plea for Humor," in which Agnes Repplier bemoans the contemporary craze for moral seriousness in all literature and argues for wit; the rest is a collection of humorous/witty stories, essays, poems (the poems are badly formatted, without line breaks) and excerpts. The table of contents (non-navigable) is as follows:

Agnes Repplier, "A Plea for Humor"
Marietta Holley, "An Unmarried Female"
Fitzhugh Ludlow, "Selections from a Brace of Boys"
Robert Jones Burdette, "Rheumatism Movement Cure"
Oliver Wendell Holmes, "An Aphorism and a Lecture"
Joshua S. Morris, "The Harp of a Thousand Strings"
Seba Smith, "My First Visit to Portland"
William Cullen Bryant, "The Mosquito"
John Carver, "Country Burial-Places"
Danforth Marble, "The Hoosier and the Salt-Pile"
Anne Bache, "The Quilting"
Fitz-Greene Halleck, "A Fragment / Domestic Happiness"
Charles F. Browne ("Artemus Ward"), "One of Mr. Ward's Business Letters / On 'Forts'"
James Russell Lowell, "Without and Within"
Louisa May Alcott, "Street Scenes in Washington"
Albert Bigelow Paine, "Mis' Smith"
James Jeffrey Roohe, "A Boston Lullaby"
Charles Graham Halpine, "Irish Astronomy"
Samuel Minturn Peok, "Bessie Brown, M.D."
Robert C. Sands, "A Monody"
Carolyn Wells, "The Poster Girl"
James Gardner Sanderson, "The Conundrum of the Golf Links"
Harriet Beecher Stowe, "The Minister's Wooing"
William Dean Howells, "Mrs. Johnson"
Anonymous, "The Trout, The Cat, and the Fox" / "The British Matron"

A Cheery Little Book, October 11, 2010
I liked this book a lot. Its one you can just dip into and read little chunks at a time. Always liked the little short story format. If you like this, have a look at Simon Ashley Richmond's WRITE AGAIN VOL 1 a great little book of humorous excuses

Humor is a matter of taste, and this book was insipid, November 5, 2010
There are, as indicated in the prior reviews, some two dozen short stories in this volume. The language of all of them is that of the late eighteenth or early twentieth century, and outdated and heavy, a fact that affected the humor. Most of the authors are currently unknown. However, there is a tale by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Louisa May Alcott, and the very well-known generally very well-spoken Anonymous. I read these four offerings and found none of them funny, so I did not read the unknowns. ... Read more

Editorial Review

From two of our most fiercely moral voices, a passionate call to arms against our era’s most pervasive human rights violation: the oppression of women and girls in the developing world.

With Pulitzer Prize winners Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn as our guides, we undertake an odyssey through Africa and Asia to meet the extraordinary women struggling there, among them a Cambodian teenager sold into sex slavery and an Ethiopian woman who suffered devastating injuries in childbirth. Drawing on the breadth of their combined reporting experience, Kristof and WuDunn depict our world with anger, sadness, clarity, and, ultimately, hope.

They show how a little help can transform the lives of women and girls abroad. That Cambodian girl eventually escaped from her brothel and, with assistance from an aid group, built a thriving retail business that supports her family. The Ethiopian woman had her injuries repaired and in time became a surgeon. A Zimbabwean mother of five, counseled to return to school, earned her doctorate and became an expert on AIDS.

Through these stories, Kristof and WuDunn help us see that the key to economic progress lies in unleashing women’s potential. They make clear how so many people have helped to do just that, and how we can each do our part. Throughout much of the world, the greatest unexploited economic resource is the female half of the population. Countries such as China have prospered precisely because they emancipated women and brought them into the formal economy. Unleashing that process globally is not only the right thing to do; it’s also the best strategy for fighting poverty.

Deeply felt, pragmatic, and inspirational, Half the Sky is essential reading for every global citizen. ... Read more

Editorial Review

With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron shares with us her ups and downs in I Feel Bad About My Neck, a candid, hilarious look at women who are getting older and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.

Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as a woman of a certain age. Utterly courageous, uproariously funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a scrumptious, irresistible treat of a book, full of truths, laugh out loud moments that will appeal to readers of all ages. ... Read more

Reviews

Enough with denial - embrace it ;-), August 2, 2006
I've loved Nora Ephron ever since Sleepless In Seattle and You've Got Mail. Heartburn (which she wrote) turned into a hit film, and so I knew when I saw that she wrote another book again, I thought I'd pick it up. It's a collection of amusing essays all about growing older.
She says that there are so many books out there about what to do after menopause etc, but none addressed your neck change as you age so she thought this was a cute and funny title.
She talks about maintenance being a second career because a lot of women are pre-empting age. For example, hair dying, botox etc. She talks about her husbands theory of women either being birds, muffins or horses and that is the shape of your face. If you are a muffin, you can have a zillion face lifts and be fine, but other shaped faces - not so much.
She talks more seriously about reaching 60 and start loosing friends. You have to come to grips with reality and realise that we aren't invincible and won't die - it's getting closer to being on the cards.
She also mentions things she wishes she'd known; You can't be friends with people who call after 11pm, Write everything down, Back up your files etc. She's very funny (a very dry sense of humour) and it shows through this book. It's a good read that is sometimes serious but overall will be thoroughly enjoyable and entertaining. If you are a fan of her movies, you will definately love I Feel Bad About My Neck ...

Witty, clever but leightweight..., December 15, 2006
Nora Ephron is witty, clever and has her finger on the pulse of American women everywhere in her delightful book, I Feel Bad About My Neck: and Other Thoughts on Being a Woman. My only complaint is that at 137 pages (and small pages at that), it's a rather lightweight book.

Ephron writes about so many of the problems we women face: hairstyles, maintenance routines, raising children, empty nesting, reading glasses, cooking, purses, living in New York City, aging, and the death of good friends. Some of her observations are brutally honest. She talks about how a neck is a telltale sign of aging. "The neck is a dead giveaway. Our faces are lies and our necks are the truth. You have to cut open a redwood tree to see how old it is, but you wouldn't have to do that if it had a neck." She has a refreshing list of "What I Wish I'd Known" including "Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from" and "The empty nest is underrated."

I' m not real big on make-up routines, I wear glasses all the time and love my poker-straight hair. So some of her musings I found funny but didn't necessarily relate. But where Ephron and I see eye to eye is about reading. "Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person." One of my favorite chapters is "On Rapture," about the state of rapture she feels when she discovers a good book. She also lists some books that changed her life. The chapters where she discusses reading are the best in the book.

I Feel Bad About My Neck got raves from most of the book critics that reviewed this book. While I enjoyed it, I just was expecting more from Ephron.

The truth about aging told with honesty and a liberal dose of humor, October 3, 2006
Never mind the grammatically horrendous title, this is one entertaining book of essays on the subject of aging, most especially as it applies to women. Whether it would be as funny to either: a). men, or b). people too young to know what aging really feels like, is debatable, but I can only say I found it a very deep, thoughtful and quick read.

It's also one that kept me laughing, that is, when I didn't feel like crying. Ephron doesn't sugar-coat, though she does pour on the humor. She lets out her true feelings on the topic of aging, which feels an awful lot like grief in some of her essays. That would make sense, though, to mourn the passing of youth as you'd mourn just about anything you've had and lost.

Though she couches things in humor, she's brutally honest. She's at her most poignant while speaking about the loss of her best friend, who died all too soon after discovering she had cancer. One day they were talking about the fickle and finite nature of life, and the next they were struggling to find a way to make sense of things, and to figure out how to say goodbye. Really wrenching stuff, but the uplift is Ephron's unfailing sense of humor. The optimism of that may be real or faked, but there's enough padding there that the reader can still come away with a feeling things aren't SO bad, about her neck or other, bigger things like death and dying.

This is partly a book about fighting the aging process, but not entirely. All the creams and surgical procedures are mentioned, and Ephron will tell you what she's done and what she hasn't, but that isn't the main point of the book. The point is aging isn't a walk in the park. Not only can an aging person all but feel the world passing on to the next generation, but she must also face that along with losing some of the people she cares about. Aging means time passes, and as time passes both good and bad things happen. You may choose to focus on the good or the bad, but ultimately aging is a struggle, pure and simple. It's a struggle physically, mentally and emotionally, and that's all there is to it.

Not ten bucks worth, November 7, 2006
I'm annoyed with myself that I paid over ten bucks at Sam's for something that I read in one sitting and that offered minimal humor and little insight into aging or anything else. Just about any woman of a certain age with some writing skill could have written this slim book -- though most could not have written the irrelevant, boring, and overlong section on the travails of owning an apartment in New York. But an unknown author with the same skills and ideas would not have had such a skimpy book published. Nora Ephron is a very funny woman who writes charming screenplays and articles, but as another reviewer pointed out, once you've heard her speak you don't need to read this book.

Not the fun read I expected, September 25, 2007
Maybe it's just me, but I expected so much more from this book. I thought it would be wittier, more original, and use humor to inspire middle aged women like me. Instead I found it to be a negative read and it just brought me down. Sorry, no recommendation from me on this one.

Hilarious and true, what a combination!, August 21, 2006
Nora Ephron verbalized my thoughts about purses and especially necks. What happens overnight? Suddenly you look in the mirror and realize, "Omigod, it's my grandmother's neck!Who drew those lines?" Thank God for winter, I used to hate it but how else can you wear turtlenecks everyday? I am considering volunteering for Antarctica for the summer so I can live in polarfleece.This is so humour filled but also validating. We are all in this together and I swear, I will be buried in a turtleneck

I feel bad about buying this book, February 11, 2008
While the author may be a respected writer, this book is a poor example of her work. She rambles on about nothing, drops names and brags about herself and her finances. Where are her "thoughts on being a woman" when she rambles on about her high priced apartment? It was not insightful, not funny and really not what I expected.

What Happened Nora?, August 10, 2006
I am sorry I wasted my money on this book. I looked forward to reading this book and bought it the first day it was available. I am fifty and thought I could use a light read and a little laughter. What I ended up with were the boring ramblings of Nora's life. I felt like she threw together a few days of journaling and published it. I didn't laugh out loud once. Let's be real we have all heard funny stories about hair in wrong places and mid life short term memory. I kept waiting for something funny and it just went on and on and on.......

WE ARE NOT GETTING OLDER; WE ARE GETTING BETTER...AND MORE TOLERANT OF OURSELVES, August 5, 2006
I liked this book from start to finish. It is a fairly quick read but filled with an unusual tongue-in-cheek style of wit and humour. After all, we cannot change the aging process, so why not come to terms and make the best of it. I, too, am approaching that big 60 year and as I was reading this book, kept saying to myself, "Yep, that's me!" The book will win the hearts of female readers, especially those who are going through or already beyond the menopausal years. You are bound to find a part of yourself in here somewhere. Growing older may bring a few wrinkles and a lot of things that once worked now leak, creak and squeak, but life is only what you make it. The author has a way of making you feel that growing old is not all that bad after all. You can't recapture youth, but you can get more than a few laughs from this book - go for it!

Now I feel bad too., August 29, 2007
I wish I had read some of the reviews before wasting valuable summer reading time and money on this. It seemed like endless pages (amazingly only 139) of complaining about things that are well within someone of her means control. If it is such a burden to keep your hair dyed, stop dying it and learn to love it gray. Hey, you know what, if you're over 60 we all know that its not your real hair color anyway. No one cares if you hate the time it takes to get a manicure, most of us don't care or will never see your manicure, please don't bore us any further with your petty whining. This book depressed me. Thankfully the next book on my reading list was Jen Lancaster-now she was funny, same topics, appartment hunting in the big city, hair dying, but way, way funnier. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Audrey Hepburn is an icon like no other, yet the image many of us have of Audrey—dainty, immaculate—is anything but true to life. Here, for the first time, Sam Wasson presents the woman behind the little black dress that rocked the nation in 1961. The first complete account of the making of Breakfast at Tiffany's, Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M. reveals little-known facts about the cinema classic: Truman Capote desperately wanted Marilyn Monroe for the leading role; director Blake Edwards filmed multiple endings; Hepburn herself felt very conflicted about balancing the roles of mother and movie star. With a colorful cast of characters including Truman Capote, Edith Head, Givenchy, "Moon River" composer Henry Mancini, and, of course, Hepburn herself, Wasson immerses us in the America of the late fifties before Woodstock and birth control, when a not-so-virginal girl by the name of Holly Golightly raised eyebrows across the country, changing fashion, film, and sex for good. Indeed, cultural touchstones like Sex and the City owe a debt of gratitude to Breakfast at Tiffany's.

In this meticulously researched gem of a book, Wasson delivers us from the penthouses of the Upper East Side to the pools of Beverly Hills, presenting Breakfast at Tiffany's as we have never seen it before—through the eyes of those who made it. Written with delicious prose and considerable wit, Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M. shines new light on a beloved film and its incomparable star.

Reviews

The Awesomeness of Audrey, June 22, 2010
Sam Wasson's just-released and delightful book on the making of "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is so chock-full of great anecdotes that you're sorry when it's over. For awhile, you are there - a privileged insider-witness to a marvelous bygone moment in moviemaking history - and it's with a feeling of bittersweet regret that you step from its closing pages back into a realm of noisy 3D sequels and superfluous comic book franchises. Everything you'd want to know and more is delivered in the book, from the reader's coverage producer Marty Jurow was first handed, re: adapting Capote's book for the screen ("In any event this is more of a character sketch than a story. NOT RECOMMENDED") to the guest list for the post-premiere party (including such unlikely elbow-rubbers as Dennis Hopper, Buster Keaton, Charles Laughton, and Jane Mansfield).

A delicious through-line in the book is how close the movie came to not coming out so well as it did, with such jaw-droppers as everyone's resistance to having Henry Mancini write a song for the thing (eventual collaborator Johnny Mercer's original lyric, we learn, one of three eventually presented to Mancini, was called "Blue River"). An intimate exploration of the myriad personalities in conflict and collusion when a casual classic is being created, the book is cannily adept at detailing the logic of the so many minute decisions that lead to what we now accept as inevitable. Of course Audrey Hepburn played Holly Golightly, you think, until you hear how hard Capote lobbied for Marilyn Monroe.

Wasson is a formidable researcher. He doesn't so much know where the bodies are buried as he knows where the hearts and minds are hidden. The book is written like a good novel, taking you inside the consciousness of its characters with an impressive, insight-laden believability ("Fifth Avenue"'s only recent movie-book rival in this regard is Mark Harris' fascinating "Pictures at a Revolution"). And Wasson's notes on how he arrived at, and can justify, his leaps of imagination and empathy are almost as interesting as the text itself.

Of course the book has its thesis and theories as well, positing "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and Hepburn's stylish, fresh, era-defining performance as a watershed moment in cultural history. If you're a fan of Audrey Hepburn, the book is a must-have, because Wasson's astute take on what she was about, what she was up against, and how she delivered the goods strikes me as definitive. Her spritely, near-angelic spirit comes alive in the pages of this eminently devour-able book, which is kind of an awesome dividend.

Audrey Hepburn, not Tawdry Hepburn, June 28, 2010
When Paramount was gearing up to release "Breakfast at Tiffany's," a film that would go on to usher in an entirely new and more authentic depiction of women on screen (even if it had still had a long way to go), they had to be careful. Audrey Hepburn, the darling of such films as "Roman Holiday" (which won her an Oscar) and "Sabrina," was very conscious of her public image. Unlike other stars who carefully constructed their images, Audrey was essentially the kind woman she was perceived by the public to be. Hepburn, who could sometimes be found knitting on set, didn't want that reputation tarnished. So, unsurprisingly, Hepburn nearly turned the role of the free spirited good time girl Holly Golightly, the film she is most remembered for today.

And therein lies the crux of Sam Wasson's masterful book on the making Breakfast at "Tiffany's" and its cultural significance. At this time in film history it wasn't okay to play this type of character. On screen good girls were good and bad girls were bad. There was no gray area. But "Tiffany's" would change all that, and show the world that not only did this gray area indeed exist, but it was a hell of a lot of fun to be single and sexually liberated woman--even if you were just playing one.

Golightly, as it turns out, was an amalgam of so many of the society ladies that Truman Capote (the author of the original novella on which the film is based on) knew and socialized with, but it was Babe Paley and Capote's own mother, Nina, who most pervaded the character of Holly.

This slim volume (coming in at just over 200 pages) is also a history of Hollywood during the mid 1950s and through the filming of "Tiffany's." Not having read Capote's original novel, I was unaware that the Paul Varjak character in the film was actually Holly's gay friend in the novel. The social mores of the day dictated that the character be turned into a love interest.

I think Sam Wasson's book is clever and unique and witty in its telling of the story behind the story of how "Breakfast at Tiffany's" paved the way for a new brand of filmmaking and depiction of women on screen. Often irreverent, always engaging, Wasson's book does not disappoint.

More fun than wearing a tiara from Tiffany's..., June 22, 2010
After all the critical praise I've read, I have to admit, I had high expectations for Fifth Avenue, 5 AM, but this gem of a book actually managed to exceed them. (When does that ever happen?)
I think that's due, in part, to the way Wasson deftly weaves together the full story of the making of the movie, a social history of the era, Audrey, Capote, Edith Head, Paramount, et al. The end result is a sparkling tapestry of considerable heft -- substance and FUN. Peter Bogdanovich (famed director of Paper Moon & The Last Picture Show) asserted "it reads like a compulsively page-turning novel" and I couldn't agree more. I devoured it. But I also picked up quite a bit of new info along the way--about Audrey, about the film, the era, fashion, and the genesis of the now prevalent `single girl' phenomenon. Wasson's prose is delightful--rich and alive. This book belongs at your bedside table, in your beach bag and maybe even selected as next month's read for your book club.
Really, I thought it was fantastic.

I'll Take Manhattan, July 11, 2010
"Breakfast at Tiffanys" was one of many 60s-era movies that added to my own zeal to move to New York immediately after art school, and begin living the Big City Life. Inspired by the details of movies like "Tiffany", "Sweet Smell of Success", "The Apartment", etc I could not wait to be part of the population, hailing Checker cabs, sitting on my fire escape reading the voluminous Sunday Times, taking in Broadway shows, and going to coffee houses in The Village. All of this was possible in 1967, even on an Art Trainee's salary; and one could easily find "a roomate, a job, and an apartment" in a day. At least, that is what I remember.
I would like to propose that the real star of "Tiffanys" is.....alas, Manhattan. Thanks to Wasson's book, I note that actual film work in the City was limited -- and then the whole party shifted to the back lots of Hollywood (WHY had I not expected that, all along?).....but, the viewer is left feeling that Holly and her band of kooks has given them a sneak preview of the most marvelous place in the world. And we all wanted to come, asap. At least, I did, and have never regretted the decision, even 43 years later.
So, although I am a fan of Audrey's, and Blake's, and Truman's, I came away from this fun book, realizing that New York City was the social game-changer -- not "Breakfast at Tiffanys". Afterall, the City gave us "newcomers right off the bus" a place to shape-shift, reinvent, become our most creative selves, play-act and try on different roles (graphic artist? fashion illustrator?
window dresser?) -- while providing the perfect "movie set" backdrop of teeming Times Square, towering sky scrapers, ethnic neighborhoods, brownstones/townhouses/studios, and the most fascinating population EVER.
Wasson has given us a juicy summer read, and I would describe it as an expanded-version of one of those ultra-juicy articles-with-photos in Vanity Fair magazine. But, to double your pleasure, I highly recommend ordering a used copy of Gene Moore's "My Time at Tiffanys" to read, immediately after "Fifth Avenue, 5 am". Moore gives a marvelous, engaging behind-the-velvet-curtain tour of
Tiffanys and the backstory of their culture-defining Windows.....plus he throws in a lot of New York City legend and lore (happily covering the timeframe when I first arrived, complete with water shortages and labor strikes). Not a fictional character like Holly, Moore was a real creative innovator, leaving his mark, while living an alternative lifestyle; and his talents enriched New York City and added to its status as the most stylish metropolis ever.

Some interesting tidbits for fans of Hepburn and Breakfast at Tiffany's, July 9, 2010
I read rave reviews on this book in several magazines so I bought it. Though I think Breakfast at Tiffany's was a great movie, and adore Audrey Hepburn (who doesn't?), I wouldn't call myself a rabid fan of either. Hence my perspective is not one of a die-hard fan.

For the good points, the author seems to be in the know about the inner workings of Hollywood and the making of movies. There are some interesting stories and factoids in the book, and the story really did explain some of the basis for Audrey Hepburn's star appeal. The author also made a fairly compelling case for the role of Hepburn and the movie in changing the portrayal of women in movies--and this perhaps was the strongest part of the book.

However, many of the tantalizing tidbits advertised were sort of exaggerated by the book's description. For example, some of the press about the book included remarks like "can you imagine Breakfast at Tiffany's without 'Moon River'? This leads the reader to think that there will be an in-depth story about controversy related to the song, but there really wasn't. There were about two pages at most about a non-event related to the song.

Another annoyance with the book was the way it was structured. It is almost written as a series of very short articles with chapter headings that look like scene headings from scripts. Some might find this technique charming but it seemed to be a convenient way to avoid making transitions in the story and sort of disrupted the flow. I found it distracting.

I give this book a definite recommend for Hepburn and Tiffany's diehards, and a lukewarm recommend for the average reader.

J'ame Audrey Hepburn (and Holly Golightly too!), July 3, 2010
I have to confess I have always loved Audrey Hepburn, but have never been quite sure what my favorite Audrey Hepburn movie should be. They all showcase that certain gamine ethereal quality which defined her during the great heyday of her career in the 1950s-the early 1960s. Sam Wasson's book, Fifth Avenue 5 A.M makes the case that everyone's favorite movie should be "Breakfast at Tiffany's."

When Stanley Kubrick made his film version of "Lolita," the ad campaign focused on how impossible it was under the prevailing motion picture code (illustrating what a dead letter that institution was that audiences would conspire to undermine it). The original work that the film "Breakfast at Tiffany's" was based upon posed just as many problems. It was the story of a prostitute (Holly Golightly) and her gay friend who talked and acted like Truman Capote. Capote even insisted that he was the only person capable of playing the male lead in any film version of his work. Holly Golightly could only be played by one person, Audrey Hepburn's polar opposite, Marilyn Monroe. One wonders what sort of movie would have been made had that bit of casting been attempted,. Marilyn discretely turning tricks while Capote dished the dirt with the upstairs neighbor, a Japanese photographer.

Movie making is collaborative venture and this book demonstrates that premise perfectly. Capote created the character of Holly Golightly based in part on his own wild playgirl of a mother. While she was not above depositing Truman with relatives in Alabama (where he met Harper Lee, but this is another story entirely) while she ran around Manhattan in the thrities, she probably was not the high class call girl that Holly was in the book. In fact any number of women including Gloria Vanderbilt, Carol Marcus (later to marry Walter Matthau) and Babe Paley contributed features to the development of Holly Golightly. Sometimes writing involves collaboration from a variety of sources.

Once the film rights were sold, several other individuals step into the story, each with their own agendas, but all seeking some sort of redemption. First there was Audrey Hepburn herself who had originally refused the part by saying, "I just can't play a hooker." There was the writer, George Axelrod, the writer, who sought to break away from doing movies with well endowed heroines (Jayne Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe) who seduce ordinary joes, a genre termed boobs and boobs films. Then there was the director, Blake Edwards, who despite a successful career as the director behind the successful Peter Gunn TV series wanted to movie into a higher tier of professional respect. Sam Wasson demonstrates how all of these three individuals achieved greater professional success than they might of expected from the outset.

Really the only thing that was left from the original novel was its title and the name of the heroine. Functioning more as a character study, there was little in the way of plot and dramatic tension. George Axelrod, turned the traditional formula for a late fifties sex comedy (which never involved sex unless both partners were married) on its head by making both his hero (no heterosexual) and heroine fully sexual beings who were presumably being kept by others and who needed to break free of the need for financial security to find love and commitment with each other. As for Holly herself, what she did for the $50.00 for the powder room was kept somewhat hush hush, Hepburn had recently been nominated for an Oscar for her portrayal of a nun in the Belgian Congo for crying out loud. Holly had been changed from a call girl to a happy go lucky kook in the best traditions of Hollywood.

In most creative endeavors there is usually one person who annoys all others with his oversized ego. Oddly enough with so many talented people involved, that person for this movie was George Peppard. Of all of the participants that were interviewed for the book, absolutely no one had anything good to say about him. An inflated sense of one's own self worth though commonplace in Hollywood and even Washington is not an odd thing, but completely unsuspected if one has the scintilla of talent at the command of George Peppard. The tales of his antics make me long to read an account of one of my favorite trash classics, "The Carpetbaggers," which really is more his style anyway.

It is no surprise to realize that the film "Breakfast at Tiffany's" was a success. Audrey Hepburn achieved new successes and a greater sense of her abilities as an actress. George Axelrod went on to become one of the producers of "The Manchurian Candidate" (another great movie from this period, would love to read a book on the making of that movie) and Blake Edwards acquired the kind of fame and respect that led to the establishment of the wildly funny Pink Panther series of movies.

Truman Capote was predictably bitter. It was one thing to buy the film rights to his book and then trash most of the plot, but it was another thing to succeed wildly in doing so. Had "Breakfast at Tiffany's" failed (which it probably would have had it starred Marilyn Monroe and Truman in the leads), there would have been some consolation. This particular movie became the source of many extended rants from Capote in the later years who was appalled that his character, Holly Golightly, who was a high class call girl in his original novel had been turned into a lady by Hollywood.

Sam Wasson's work on the making of this classic of Hollywood alchemy is really an fun read as well as being a bit of a guilty pleasure. From the beginning of the story to the end, he weaves a tale of ego, genius and professional redemption in an entertaining and at times moving way. Well worth the read.

An informative, fabulous book!, July 16, 2010
This is an very well-written work of film history...luckily for us readers, many of the personalities involved in the making of Breakfast at Tiffany's are still alive, so Wasson had the opportunity to conduct first person interviews as well as relying on historical accounts.

It really shows how times have changed....! If you are interested in film history, Audrey Hepburn or 20th century women's history, costume design, Givenchy...oh you get my drift, many people will enjoy this delightful book!

Bravo to Sam Wasson!

Fifth Avenue, 5AM is a classic HAUTE COUTURE book, June 23, 2010
This book is as fun and elegant as a perfect little black dress, but unlike my little black dress, I just wish it had been longer! When I finished it, I ordered 10 more to give as gifts as I'm sure just about all of my friends will love it too. Just like Audrey Hepburn and Tiffany's, I think this book will become a classic that is always in style.

Some Strong Points, But A Bit of A Let Down Overall, November 17, 2010
I found this book a bit of a let down:

- Overall, it seemed a bit thin on material and appeared to be padded out with biographical filler. I think it would have been more effective as an essay.

- The author's insight into the deal making involved with Breakfast At Tiffany's, insights into the personalities involved with the film, and other anecdotes were the strongest part of the book. I just wish the author had more to tell.

- I didn't appreciate some of the coarse language used periodically by the author (for emphasis?).

Only recommended for the diehard fans, September 19, 2010
Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M. by Sam Wasson
Harper, 2010
204 pages
Non-fiction; celebrity
3/5 stars

Source: School library

Summary: A look at the making of 'Breakfast at Tiffany's:' how the producers, director, writer, and stars came to make it and how it impacted cinema and American life.

Thoughts: I think I saw a review of this in People magazine and I put it on my list because it seemed like a breezy read with links to the classic movies I love (actually don't really like BaT but I also need to watch it again). This was a very quick and easy read. I'm not particularly familiar with any of it although I've seen BaT and I don't not like Audrey Hepburn (she's not in my top 10, but maybe the top 20). Reading the backstories was interesting-tracing Hepburn's path to this role and looking at the backstage people is always interesting as they're too often neglected.

But Wasson's argument about how groundbreaking this film was in its depiction of female sexuality is not well argued. Just repeating that it pushed boundaries and was remarkable does not equal a well-reasoned and well-supported argument. It also seemed quite shallow and I kept feeling like there should be more to the story although I wasn't sure what.

Overall: Definitely recommended for the diehard fans of BaT; otherwise don't bother.

Cover: I love the cover-Audrey in the iconic dress with Tiffany blue in the subtitle is perfect! ... Read more

Editorial Review

New York Times bestselling author Jenny McCarthy returns to her comic roots in this candid, wise, and witty look at women, men, sex, romance, heartbreak, love, and how (not) to fake it.

In Belly Laughs, Jenny McCarthy told you what you could really expect when you're expecting. In Baby Laughs and Life Laughs, she gave you the unfiltered ups and downs of motherhood and marriage. Now, in Love, Lust & Faking It, the inveterate truth teller turns the lights on for a funny, often poignant, and no-holds-barred look at the essence of relationships: love and sex.

Jenny explores the intensity of first love, introducing us to Tony, the boy of her teenage dreams, and Tubby, her dirty, sexy stuffed teddy bear. She takes us on a whirlwind tour of the world of aphrodisiacs and fetishes, explains the importance of playing doctor and other nice and naughty fantasies, and gives thanks for the pleasures of chocolate. And she sets the story straight on STDs, man junk and lady bits, why we really cheat, why women are master manipulators, the virtues of sex with the lights off, the power of a "loving no," the satisfaction of the perfect booty call, and so much more.

Filled with humorous stories about her own out-rageous exploits—from becoming a Playboy Miss October to the pain of getting a discount boob job to meeting Brad Pitt—as well as the lessons she's learned from family, friends, and fans, Love, Lust & Faking It takes on a subject the sex symbol, mother, television star, comedian, and divorcÉe can be trusted to examine with nothing but unvarnished honesty and earthy humor. Throughout, Jenny reminds us to aim higher, believe in true love, and, most of all, be kind to ourselves. And to have lots of fun and sex—without faking it.

Reviews

I want my money back
As a fan of Jenny McCarthy, I'm sorry to say that this book is awful. I have read her other books and enjoyed them, but this one felt like she was just trying to get anything on paper to get a paycheck. It is completely random, from astrology to an entire chapter that ends "just kidding, that never happened". It was seriously bad and I wish I didn't buy it on my Kindle so that I could get my money back. Not funny, not entertaining, not worth 11.99 for sure!! I only finished the book (because I couldn't return it mainly, but also) in the hope that it was going to get better and I was left disappointed.

buy it now, what are you waiting for?!!
I bought this book after seeing Jenny on Oprah and within about 3 hours had read it cover to cover. It is so so funny, its kind of like reading a very long email from your funniest friend! I literally laughed out loud at many parts! Has some good facts and resources as well but the heart I think is Jenny's honesty and the humor. I want all my girlfriends to read it! You will not be disappointed. Oh it is on the racy side so keep that in mind :)

Flippin' Awesome!
Jenny didn't let me down! From first loves, to the love of pleasuring yourself, to heartbreak, and sex, this book tells it all! Not only is it extremely entertaining, but it's about something that's on our minds everyday: LOVE & SEX! And of course, the love of sex! Very funny and very "educational." I definitely recommend it to EVERYONE! ... Read more

Editorial Review

Your Girlfriends, of course -- at least, the ones who've been through the exhilaration and exhaustion, the agony and ecstasy of pregnancy. Four-time delivery room veteran Vicki Iovine, "the Carrie Bradshaw of pregnancy" (Wall Street Journal), talks to you the way only a best friend can -- in the book that will go the whole nine months for every mother-to-be. Now, in this newly revised and updated edition, get the lowdown on all those little things that are too strange or embarrassing to ask, practical tips, and hilarious takes on everything pregnant.

What Really Happens to Your Body -- from morning sickness and gas to eating everything in sight -- and what it's like to go from being a babe to having one.

The Many Moods of Pregnancy -- why you're so irritable/distracted/ tired/light-headed (or at least more than usual).

Plus, the latest scoop on . . .

Staying Stylish -- You may be pregnant, but you can still be the fashionista you've always been (or at least you don't have to look like a walking beach ball) --wearing the hippest designers and proudly showing off your bump.

Pregnancy Is Down to a Science -- from in vitro fertilization to scheduled C-section, the latest technology provides so many options, alternatives, and tests, it can all be downright confusing.

. . . and much more! For a reassuring voice or just a few good belly laughs, turn to this straight-talking guide on what to really expect when you're expecting. ... Read more

Reviews

Fun and Frustrating, October 5, 2006
"The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy" is a difficult book to rate. Vicki Iovine's honesty and sense of humor about pregnancy deserves 5 stars. If you find pregnancy difficult for even a moment, this book will be a great comfort to you. It is a delightful antidote to the dry, frightening pregnancy books that flood the market.

But I found myself angry with a couple of the positions Vicki takes and how she presents them, especially regarding natural childbirth. This is why I knocked my rating down to 3 stars. She seems to take it quite personally that some women make birth choices different from her own, and she goes out of her way to be quite rude and petty about it.

The Good Stuff
* Vicki Iovine really and truly understands how traumatic pregnancy weight gain can be. We live in a society where we are taught to hate and fear getting fat, and we cannot just turn that lesson off when we get pregnant. It is HARD to go to the doctor and get weighed all the time, and be judged on if our gain is "acceptable" or not. Vicki gets this, she genuinely does, and it is such a joy to read her rants about it. You're not alone in being scared to step on the scale.

* The Guide includes a realistic, down-to-Earth discussion of what you really need to buy for your new baby, and what you can skip. A huge blessing for new moms!

* Much of Vicki's advice is wonderfully specific. For instance, she doesn't just tell you that you need to bring an outfit to the hospital for the baby to wear home - she tells you exactly what kind of outfit will work the best. She does honestly seem to remember what it's like to be a first-time mom and just not know these things.

* Vicki points out her own way of doing things, but she often describes the different choices her own girlfriends made. It is helpful to have realistic options and know that one way doesn't always work for everybody.

The Bad Stuff
* This book is downright hostile toward mothers who do not have epidurals. Vicki actively discourages women from considering unmedicated birth. She tells her readers that no matter how they feel about epidurals before they go into labor, they will ALL want one as soon as they get to the hospital, anyway, so they should just get used to the idea of having one. She also makes the highly unlikely claim that, even though she seems to have an endless list of girlfriends, she doesn't know a single woman who refused an epidural (except for medical reasons). She stoops so low as to claim that women who birth naturally have uglier faces after delivery. I don't know why she is so aggressive about this, but it is really off-putting. Even if you're not considering natural childbirth yourself, her tone is just downright catty and mean.

* Similarly, she chastises women who are disappointed to end up with c-sections. While she is totally supportive of a mother's turbulent emotions in just about everything else, she states that regretting a c-section is a sign of "self-centeredness." Even though she admits that a few of her girlfriends struggle with this problem. She suddently becomes very cold and uncaring when she covers this topic. Again, she seems to take it personally that some women regret c-sections, simply because she had one. I wish she could be a little more objective.

* Vicki contradicts herself frequently. She is happy to encourage women to embrace the natural process when it comes to weight gain, for instance. But she has no use for the natural process when it comes to birth - she thinks everyone should induce labor at a convenient moment.

* She is sympathetic and understanding about weight gain, but admits that she started out, pre-pregnancy, a size 4. Her definition of getting "big" is pushing a size 10. Most women can't relate to that.

* Vicki does actually suggest that if you don't have sex with your husband during pregnancy, he will get anxious and cheat on you. She has a very narrow and unfair opinion of men.

* She does not tell women not to exercise at all, but she does discourage *vigorous* exercise. This did not bother me. However, her approach did bother me. She goes to great lengths to tell you that if something goes wrong with the baby, and you have been exercising, you will blame yourself. This is true, but it's also true if you don't exercise at all. Mothers always blame themselves - if, God forbid, something happens to your baby and all you did was go to the grocery store that day, you will blame yourself for going to the store. A pregnant woman cannot insulate herself from guilt. Vicki seems to be aware of this, except when it comes to the things she takes personally. And exercise is one of those things. She is annoyed with women who try and "control" their pregnancies by exercising a lot. But she has no proof that this is actually a bad thing. It seems to bother her merely because it is not what she chose to do. Again, her tendency to be dismissive toward women who make other choices is very annoying.

* If you read the 1995 version of this book, the chapter on maternity clothing is hopelessly outdated. But this may be remedied in the second edition that is currently in the works.


Overall, this book is refreshing, fun, and comforting. It will make you feel better about being pregnant. But take Vicki Iovine's rants about epidurals, exercise, and c-sections with a large grain of salt.

A funny and informative guide., August 10, 2009
I have to admit I was a bit reticent to get this one as there was some negativity about it. However, I am SO glad I listened to my gut instead of these others. It is one of the best books on pregnancy ever. I found out so much that I needed to know, that even my own doctor will not tell me, that I came away feeling better about the whole thing. So, if you are looking for a guide to pregnancy that will really, really tell you like it is, get this one. Another good one is: Really Pregnant! Confessions of a New Mom-To-Be or Why I Couldn't Stop Eating Brownies.

Humorous --- relax, everybody!, December 13, 1999
I thought this book was great! How refreshing to hear that it's ok if you eat refined sugar a few times while you're pregnant! What a plus to know you're not the only one who feels fat and unattractive because you're bloated, etc!

A couple of things I disagree with other reviewers about:

1) Some reviewers felt that Vicki hated being pregnant. I didn't get that feeling at all. I just felt she was being realistic that pregnancy is sometimes very hard on your body. It probably won't be the nine months of your life when you feel the healthiest and most relaxed.

2) She never said not to exercise! Folks, if you actually read the whole book (unlike some people who read one or two paragraphs), you'll realize that she does recommend walking and things like water aerobics. What she doesn't recommend (and which she felt may have endangered two of her own pregnancies) is strenuous weight lifting. Based on what I've read, many ob's agree with that.

I feel that alot of the reviewers may be basing negative comments on a couple of paragraphs read in a bookstore (some even say as much), which isn't quite fair.

Overall, I thought it was a great book, and while I may not agree with her on every little point, Vicki has certainly provided me with alot of laughs and alot of starting points for discussions with my obstetrician, my husband, etc.

Short on science, long on babble, January 10, 2007
First, I think it's worth stating the (nearly) obvious: that every woman's pregnancy is a bit different. That said, this book is just out of date and--while apparently funny to some--tiresome in its "I can tell you what the medical community won't" schtick. Most problematic, I think, is the long diatribe against exercise, especially the way Iovine couches the whole discussion in terms of appearance and the American woman's need to look good and her inability to let go and do what nature is telling her to do. She says "Exercise will not help you in labor or delivery in any way." (98) This is simply untrue based on MANY studies (two are: Med Sci Sports Exerc. 1995, May;27(5):634-40; Am J Obstet Gynecol. 1990 Dec;163(6 Pt 1):1799-805). It's just irresponsible for Iovine to suggest that "you might engander the pregnancy" and then to further manipulate the reader emotionally with "even if you don't endanger the pregnancy, if something goes wrong, you will forever wonder if you're exercising caused it." (100)

This section alone is reason to avoid the book. Ms. Iovine is speaking authoritatively based on little more than anecdote and what amounts to folk-wisdom. In writing for mothers-to-be, one would hope for a modicum of science would enter the dialogue. To ignore it is to do the readership a disservice.

The most condescending, ignorant, untrue pregnancy book out there, February 19, 2006
I really hated this book. Because I did spend money on it, I did read it all the way through, although very grudgingly. I have a FANTASTIC sense of humor and hardly anything offends me, but this woman managed to do it. Her whiny, self-important, condescending attitude actually made me hurl the book at a wall...and that wasn't just pregnancy hormones. It was THAT bad.

Ms. Iovine, a former Playboy playmate, would like you to believe that she is on YOUR side - she and her bevy of what I'm convinced are imaginary girlfriends. However, she goes on about what an evil thing pregnancy is and that it will rob you of your body and good looks...FOREVER. She clearly states numerous times that after having a baby you will be fat, overweight, unattractive, and have saggy breasts. This was one of the first books I bought after finding out I was pregnant and didn't know what to expect. I literally cried after reading it thinking my life was over. I was surprised Ms. Iovine doesn't have a Smith & Wesson ad in the back of her book. The "you might as well die" tone just unsettled me.

She is obviously unhappy with herself and her life and is looking to bring others down with her. She's like the girl who claims to be your "friend" but gives you backhanded comments every chance she gets (eg. "Oh, wow...those pants really make your butt not look as huge as it really is!"). In reality, I think SHE was probably too lazy to exercise after pregnancy and expects you to throw in the towel, too, and be just as miserable as she is.

For anyone else depressed after reading this, I had my baby and lost all the weight and now have six-pack abs and my breasts don't sag even after six months of breastfeeding. My husband DOES still find me attractive and my life didn't end. Thank you for nothing, Vicki Iovine and your fellow whiny, former size 4 girlfriends.

If you want the "I've been there" assurance from a non-catty girlfriend who is looking out for YOU with laugh-out-loud humor, buy 'Belly Laughs' by Jenny McCarthy or 'Pregnancy Sucks' by Joanne Kimes. Where I wouldn't have a cup of decaf and discuss my burgeoning belly with Ms. Iovine, I'd glady do so with McCarthy and Kimes.

An expectant dad's perspective, January 7, 2004
I'm fully aware that as a expectant dad, I'm not in the "girlfriends" club this book is aimed at; however, I've read all the "What to expect..." type books that my wife has bought or have been given to us, and this was the worst of the lot and the only one I actually found offensive. I thought it might give some insight into what my wife is going through, but instead it told me that I'm an insensitive clod who doesn't really care what she's going through. And that men are just lying when they compliment their wives' changing bodies (not true!) among other absurd stereotypes. This book is a great way to plant the seeds of doubt in a pregngant women's mind and create division between expectant parents. If that's what you want, go for it.

WARNING!!!, November 17, 2002
If you are overweight, or even sensitive about your weight, don't read this book! Iovine can't resist saying "fat" without adding "and ugly" and she states in the beginning that overweight couch potatoes are not welcome in her circle of "girlfriends." Towards the end of the book, she discusses the pregnant waddle, and reasons that all fat people waddle a bit anyway. She sympathizes with her husband for not being attracted to her. After all, you wouldn't want to sleep with someone as fat as you, right? And she confides that her maternity wardrobe ran all the way up to a (gasp) size ten! The horror!
Although this book was very entertaining and had some good information, I got tired of being slapped every couple of pages. The author simply can't resist seperating her temporarily round self from those of us who struggle with our weight all the time. Does she not realize that the average American woman is a size 14? I really felt like I was reading this book as an outsider, so I waited until a skinny friend got pregnant and gave it to her.
And by the way, Ms. Iovine, I am a size 16 and my husband can't keep his hands off me. It would take a lot more than pregnancy and dark roots to push him away. If your husband is that picky about your looks, I feel sorry for you.

The essential pregnancy companion, February 7, 2000
A friend sent me this book early in my pregnancy, and I read it cover to cover immediately. Then it resided on my night table (where I revisited newly relevant passages) until it was supplanted by "The Girlfriend's Guide To The First Year." I found it to be very comical, in a warm,reassuring and friendly way. While Vicky is definitely a little too preoccupied with her size 4 body, who among us is not a bit insecure in our body image, no matter what size we are? The point is, this is not a serious reference book.There are many of those available and you should have at least one. This book instead will make you realize that you are not alone; that the wonderful and yet utterly strange things you are experiencing are not unique. At the same time you feel that your complete absorbtion with your own little world is validated-Vicki tells you-"we've all been there!" If you are the first among your sisters and friends to be pregnant, you need this book! If you are not the first, well, its always nice to have new friends.

Not for everyone - not for me!, May 29, 2003
I have never written an Amazon review before, but I was so annoyed by this book that I just had to write one. The book was recommended to me by several people, so maybe I'm in the minority. I'm an avid reader with a good sense of humor, but I failed to see what's so funny or insightful about the "Girlfriends' Guide." I found it to be poorly written, sloppily edited and more irritating than amusing. Vicki Iovine bears no resemblance to my girlfriends. Her viewpoint strikes me as very west-coast-white-upper-middle-class, and much in her book seems dated (leggings with stirrups are her number one fashion tip!). "Girlfriends' Guide" reads like a slightly lewd "Cathy" comic strip without the pictures. She reinforces all sorts of stereotypes of women in general (vain, self-centered) and pregnant women in particular (irrational, grotesquely bloated) that I don't find to be true, much less funny. While I do think there's a market out there for a light-hearted, non-scientific "tell it like it is" book about pregnancy, this isn't the one for me. If you consider yourself smart and literary, you might be disappointed too. I suggest you read a chapter or two in a bookstore before you buy. That's what I should have done.

1st Time Mom was reassured by this book, August 31, 1999
I'm amazed at the lack of humor the people who rated this low have. I was relieved to read this book, that told me that not everything was as pastel and beautiful like in a tampon commercial. I think this book was valuable in not expecting women to live up to a ridiculous television peaches and cream standard, and not to expect your husbands to handle it like some understanding guy on a pregnancy test commercial. Vicki's attitude did not strike me as cynical, it struck me as realistic! Sorry to bust your bubble all you "beautiful pregnancy" girls, but throwing up in the morning, having sciatic nerve pressure, and worrying about the amnio (that I eventually refused) was NOT beautiful. Vicki made me feel OK to feel this way. I really got the idea that she loved pregnancy, but would have appreciated someone tell her what was really gonna happen. Plus, I read the "what to expect" books as well. You use both and glean your own perspective from both. Vicki's was the only perspective on the market that socked it to you real, instead of those new-age-music, "oh what a gentle wonderful time" -- and she could laugh at the same time. Same attitude I want to raise my kids with! ... Read more

Editorial Review

Gail Collins, New York Times columnist and bestselling author, recounts the astounding revolution in women's lives over the past 50 years, with her usual "sly wit and unfussy style" (People).

When Everything Changed begins in 1960, when most American women had to get their husbands' permission to apply for a credit card. It ends in 2008 with Hillary Clinton's historic presidential campaign. This was a time of cataclysmic change, when, after four hundred years, expectations about the lives of American women were smashed in just a generation.

A comprehensive mix of oral history and Gail Collins's keen research--covering politics, fashion, popular culture, economics, sex, families, and work--When Everything Changed is the definitive book on five crucial decades of progress. The enormous strides made since 1960 include the advent of the birth control pill, the end of "Help Wanted--Male" and "Help Wanted--Female" ads, and the lifting of quotas for women in admission to medical and law schools. Gail Collins describes what has happened in every realm of women's lives, partly through the testimonies of both those who made history and those who simply made their way.

Picking up where her highly lauded book America's Women left off, When Everything Changed is a dynamic story, told with the down-to-earth, amusing, and agenda-free tone for which this beloved New York Times columnist is known. Older readers, men and women alike, will be startled as they are reminded of what their lives once were--"Father Knows Best" and "My Little Margie" on TV; daily weigh-ins for stewardesses; few female professors; no women in the Boston marathon, in combat zones, or in the police department. Younger readers will see their history in a rich new way. It has been an era packed with drama and dreams--some dashed and others realized beyond anyone's imagining. ... Read more

Reviews

We've Come A Long Way, Baby - But We Still Have A Long Way to Go, October 26, 2009
From June Cleaver to Hillary Clinton, Gail Collins` new book, When Everything Changed, reminds us of both how much everything has changed for American women in the last 50 years and just how little. Collins writes skillfully about the "olden" days when a glamour career for a woman was to be a stewardess and when the reason most women went to college to get a "Mrs.".

As accessible as she is on the Op-Ed page of the New York Times, and as wryly funny, Collins illustrates the historical facts with the stories of real women including those whose names we all know (Hilary Clinton, Sarah Palin and Michelle Obama) as well as those we would probably not know unless we read her book.

What Collins does particularly well though is to highlight that there still isn't gender parity in America's workplaces or homes. She ends on a note that celebrates how far we've come with a reality check - the gender pay gap still exists, too few women serve as CEOs or sit on corporate boards and the work-life balance conundrum has yet to be resolved.

When Everything Changed is an inspiring book. If we have forgotten the sacrifices and struggles of women who blazed the trail and take the fact that they changed the world, we should be reminded. And even if we haven't, Collins shows us that we have miles to go before we sleep.

Here's how America's I.Q. was doubled, October 25, 2009
Revolutions with the greatest lasting impact are sometimes the quietest events of their time, a description that applies to the dazzling struggle for equality that American women waged from 1960 to the present.

Former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sandra O'Connor tells of graduating from Stanford Law School and being unable to get a job in any Phoenix law firm except as a file clerk. She grew up on an Arizona ranch where her Dad expected her to handle almost every job done by men; yet, even with a Stanford law degree, she was virtually shut out of the legal profession in Arizona.

Her court nomination was heralded as a major breakthrough. Why? Why is recognition of anyone's intelligence a "breakthrough"? Collins is a gifted writer who explains why equality is so radical, yet so just and inevitable.

O'Connor's career, and that of millions of other women during the past 50 years, is a genuine "revolution" in social attitudes. It changed America and the world without a shot being fired and only a few bras burnt. Accepting women as equals in all endeavours doubles the intelligence of any society. Fifty years ago, women had the choice of career or housework. Today, women have the right to hold almost any job (except submarine crews) they want.

It's a long complex and continuing effort. After the Equal Rights Amendment was abandoned, women by the millions set out to win their rights one issue and one job at a time. Collins tells a masterful story based on personal efforts. The "revolution" was privatized; nothing could stop it. This isn't a book of dull theory, bewildered opposition, political theory or arcane legal savvy; it is the stories of hundreds of people who made Equal Rights a fact of American life and an example for the world.

Often, great events are the product of great leaders motivated by great ideals. Instead, the campaign for women's rights involved dozens of leaders plus millions of individuals. This mass movement made it an inevitable event, despite the rage of Schlafly, Bryant and other conservatives who can't respect the right of people to make their own decisions.

The difference is subtle, yet profound. Personally, I grew up in a society whose formal head is the Queen of England. It took until the 1980s, and Canadians hailed it as a major breakthrough in equality, for a woman to be named Governor General of Canada (the Queen's representative). Really. Is it a cultural breakthrough when a woman is appointed to represent a woman? Or is it a century overdue?

For Canadians, a woman representing a woman is major progress. Yet, this incident typifies similar idiocies in the U.S. It is so logical as to defy explanation. However, changing attitudes is a genuine revolution. What is so strange about allowing anyone to use their full intelligence? Yet, as Collins deftly illustrates, it takes a lot of quiet cleverness to penetrate the fog of the status quo.

Collins cites example after example, showing how individuals overcame the idiocy of the incumbency. It is a beautiful, inspiring and very timely book in response to those who always say "No!" to every decent new idea.

a book for all, but especially for young women, November 6, 2009
Gail Collins has written a revealing book both for those women of a "certain age" who lived through the events she chronicles and for those who are too young to know how difficult a journey it has been. The names everyone knows are here but the real beauty of this book lies in the stories of those unheralded and brave women who, at great personal cost, stood their ground and made a difference. Collins's witty, concise, reportorial style makes for a delightful read, once past the somewhat leaden introduction.

I learned many surprising things about where we were in the decades of my early adulthood and about how we came to be where we are now, as well as how far we have to go if we do not backslide. Collins skillfully puts the progress of women into the larger picture of social history.

This book is my holiday gift of choice for all the women in my family, especially daughters and daughters-in-law. They are the ones who will continue the amazing journey, provided they heed the warnings Collins implies.

A terrific book, but more "herstory" needed, November 7, 2009
There is something ironic in finding a link to an excerpt of this book in AARP's website. This is a book as much for my daughter as for those in my generation who lived through this entire period. Gail Collins has done a stellar job of telling the story of women's struggle for equality during these past five decades, with enough wit and anecdotes to make the narrative always lively. But I hope others will follow suit and write about stories she didn't have the space to include -- for example, about the women who flooded therapy programs, graduating with a new consciousness which was passed to their primarily female clients; about the women whose novels and criticism changed a generation's mind (e.g., THE WOMEN'S ROOM, WRITING A WOMAN'S LIFE, BELOVED, THE WOMAN WARRIOR, et al); the women who bankrolled the movement at critical moments, such as Peg Yorkin, Joan Palevsky, and Barbara Dobkin, among others and those that changed the landscape using the resources of major institutions like the Ford Foundation); the women whose efforts on campuses transformed undergraduate and graduate learning, including curriculum, pedagogy, and the canon; the women who fought for and gained some equality in the major religions; the women, like Judy Chicago, whose The Dinner Party opened the door to looking at herstory from a new artistic perspective. So my only quibble with the book is that it did not include as much social, intellectual, literary, and artistic history as I may have wished. However, its political history is superb. I hope Ms. Collins or others will follow suit and write a companion volume.

Great Herstory!, November 6, 2009
Finally, someone has written an accessible, readable book about a critical period in American history. I thoroughly enjoyed reading "When Everything Changed." This is a wonderful, creative, and informative book about a revolution that seems to have gone unnoticed. For those of us who lived through these tumultuous times, the book is a refresher, a reminder of the struggle that was both personal and historical in nature. For those of you under thirty-five, it is a must read. You must know where you have been, to know where you are, so that you can know where you are going. You must understand your Herstory. (My only negative is minor. I understand that Ms. Collins did not set out to write the "definitive" history of the time period. But, I was distracted from some of the main points by too much reliance on the individual stories. On occasions, I felt overwhelmed by too much anecdotal information, too many quotations, and too many stories of individuals; albeit, fascinating in there own right. More analysis and less reliance on individual stories would have made this a truly great book.) On the whole, however, I highly recommend this book to all. I only wish this book was published when I was teaching my Herstory Unit! Oh, the stories you would be able to tell your students....It should be in every library from middle school and up. It should be on the reading list of every history teacher. Everyone will enjoy this excellent history.

A Fast-Moving and Involving History with No Hidden Agenda, January 5, 2010
My lovely and accomplished daughter gave WHEN EVERYTHING CHANGED to me for the holidays. This was a most thoughtful gift, since Gail Collins is among my favorite newspaper columnists. IMHO, her columns are sensible and elegant and often hilarious. Further, she never wastes her space. To me, she reads like the second-coming of Russell Baker, albeit more focused on politics than the strangeness of modern life. She is superior with my morning coffee.

The subtitle of WEC--The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to the Present--pretty much sums up the intentions of Collins in this book, which is to provide an overview of how everything changed over 50 tumultuous years. To do so, she devotes the first section of her three-part book to the expectations and opportunities women faced in America in 1960. Then, part two examines how opportunity exploded for women in the mid 1960's. Finally, section three explores the backlash provoked by social change and then follows the experiences of a range of American women through the 70's, 80's, 90's, and the 00's.

At the end of section three, she observes: "So there you are. American women had shattered the ancient traditions that deprived them of independence and the right to have adventures of their own, and done it so thoroughly that few women under 30 had any real concept that things had ever been different."

There was much to like about this book. But I especially enjoyed the story of Howard Smith playing games with the Civil Rights Act and its historic unintended consequences; the overview of women in the civil rights movement; the respectful treatment of the maddening Phyllis Schafly; the analysis of the failed Comprehensive Child Development Act; and the discussion of Clinton's run for the presidency and its aftermath. For me, Collins's treatment of these subjects was especially fresh and revealing. At the same time, this work had, like the rest of the book, great clarity, sly humor, and a light touch. Never is her work pedantic, poorly paced, or boring.

Regardless, there was one tiny shortcoming in WEC, which I must point out to the Amazon.com community. Not to spoil everything; but Collins wrote this 471 page book without a single reference to Seamus, the Irish setter Mitt Romney strapped to the roof of the car during a family trip to Canada. (Her loyal readers know what I'm talking about.)

Otherwise, excellent and recommended.

I wasn't paying attention. . ., February 11, 2010
I lived through all of this, so I thought I would be familiar with all Collins had to report. I was in error. I may have been alive, but I was not noticing. I remember many of the events, but I did not react at the time to their importance. This book became, then, a necessary lesson in what I lived through and profited by but paid too little attention to.

Most informative to the reader are the author's many personal interviews that portray the details of the daily lives of American women of the era. This is not library research. It is woman to woman sharing of memories, frustrations and small victories that took place as "everything changed".

I asked for this book for Christmas, I have given it several times as presents and when it gets to paperback, I may just stand on a street corner and give it to every woman passing by.

A Must Read for Women!, March 6, 2010
Can you figure out this answer to this riddle?
"A man and his son were in a car accident. The man died on the way to the hospital, but the boy was rushed into surgery. The surgeon said "I can't operate, for that's my son!" How is this possible?"

When I first heard this riddle as a girl in the `70's I was stumped for the answer. Thanks to the women's movement modern girls are probably (hopefully!) quickly able to discern the answer. This is because everything has changed for women. While the glass ceiling still exits and stereotypes abound, generally, women are free to be, do, and own almost anything that was once reserved for men only.

When Everything Changed by Gail Collins details the historical changes from 1960 to the present, and examines the impact of these events on the lives of ordinary women. As Collins explains, once upon a time, men and women existed in different societal spheres, with men occupying the higher level:

Then, suddenly, everything changed. The cherished convictions about women and what they could do were smashed in the lifetime of many women living today. It happened so fast that the revolution seemed to be over before either side could really find its way to the barricades. And although the transformation was imperfect and incomplete, it was still astonishing.

When Everything Changed is an entertaining, but more importantly, a knowledgeable book of recent history that should be read by women of all ages!


Oh and here is the answer to the riddle: the surgeon is the boy's mother.


Publisher: Little, Brown and Company (October 14, 2009), 480 pages
Review Copy Provided Courtesy of the Publisher.

Amazing Journey Doesn't Even Start to Describe It, January 12, 2010
This book hit very close to home to me, as I identified with so many of the women Ms. Collins interviewed. Not just the fascinating stories, but the broad sweep of history in the woman's movement from 1960 to the present. From my 60's childhood, to coming of age during the early days of "libbers" (the name I recall hearing most often), the sweeping changes of the 70's, the having it all '80's, through the reality of the 90's and today.
As I sat there and pondered what it all meant as witness and participant, Ms. Collins summed it up for me in the final paragraph: " . . . But women did not figure out how to keep marriage from crumbling into divorce, and they were not particularly successful in making their lovers grow into dependable husbands. They had not remade the world the way the revolutionaries had hoped. But they had created a world their female ancestors did not even have the opportunity to imagine."
One minor issue: I would have preferred the biographical information about the women interviewed at the beginning of the book, not the end. I honestly couldn't keep their names and stories straight.

Reaching for Ceiling and Visibility Unlimited, January 5, 2010
Flight attendants, along with millions of other women and men, who hired on or committed to various jobs and work in the USA from 1960 to the present, will surely find Gail Collins' book When Everything Changed, The Amazing Journey of American Women From 1960 to the Present a powerful and accurate account.

Collins' research includes many quotes and personal stories from the early 1960s to the present. Instances of gender based discriminatory practices range from some airlines' policy makers enforcing the firing of stewardesses for marriage, pregnancy, aging and weight. Unreasonable restrictions on women are also included in a story from a Kansas housewife explaining she did not even have her name on the deed to the house she and her husband purchased in 1960.

The pain of the set backs and the pleasure of ongoing successes are apparent through the stories of women who stood their ground and often created alternate routes for progress. Examples include Lorna Weeks' fight for a switchman's job at Southern Bell in one of the first victories on the road to try to end job discrimination against women. Some airline stewardesses, experiencing severe discriminatory policies from employers, showed up at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission offices being set up to implement and oversee the Civil Rights Act of 1964 even before the office furniture and typewriters were unpacked. The newly founded National Organization for Women (NOW) was so inundated with mail that it lacked enough staff to sign up the women trying to become NOW members.

Backlash efforts against the women's liberation movement are documented and followed up by the enduring efforts of women and men to "make it after all." There are pivotal points in the 1970s when the efforts of women are focused on education and serious efforts that required long term commitments. Hillary Clinton's campaign as a serious candidate for president of the USA during the first decade of the twentieth first century is a strong testament to the effectiveness of changes from 1960 to the present.

I yearned for an accurate account of the amazing journey of American women from 1960 to the present. Gail Collins' book When Everything Changed, supported with its impressive bibliography and index, met my expectations. I highly recommend this book as a must read for women and men of all ages.

Georgia Panter Nielsen, author, retired career flight attendant and retiree organizer ... Read more

Editorial Review

Who has time to scrapbook? Not Mommy!

For the busy mom-on-the-go, this memory keeper offers a quick and easy way to capture the everyday moments of motherhood. With enough space to record a single thought, a family quote, or a special event each day for five years, this beautiful keepsake makes sure those precious memories will last a lifetime. ... Read more

Reviews

Simple way to record events in your child's life, June 17, 2010
Love it! This is a simple and convenient way to record day to day events. While I have the best intentions of recording my son's achievements and milestones, I have not always been able to manage these things. With this diary, you can record a few sentences daily to capture the most mundane of events or the firsts. Love it! ... Read more

Editorial Review

Why are women more verbal than men? Why do women remember details of fights that men can’t remember at all? Why do women tend to form deeper bonds with their female friends than men do with their male counterparts? These and other questions have stumped both sexes throughout the ages.

Now, pioneering neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine, M.D., brings together the latest findings to show how the unique structure of the female brain determines how women think, what they value, how they communicate, and who they love. While doing research as a medical student at Yale and then as a resident and faculty member at Harvard, Louann Brizendine discovered that almost all of the clinical data in existence on neurology, psychology, and neurobiology focused exclusively on males. In response to the overwhelming need for information on the female mind, Brizendine established the first clinic in the country to study and treat women’s brain function.

In The Female Brain, Dr. Brizendine distills all her findings and the latest information from the scientific community in a highly accessible book that educates women about their unique brain/body/behavior.

The result: women will come away from this book knowing that they have a lean, mean, communicating machine. Men will develop a serious case of brain envy. ... Read more

Reviews

Disappointing for many reasons, September 3, 2006
I really, really wanted to like this book. I've studied cognitive, perceptual and developmental neuroscience for 25+ years, and I'm also a clinical psychologist. I've been interested in gender differences for just as long. I teach undergrad and grad courses on neuroscience, cognition, emotion, behavior, learning, and sensation and perception. I make a point of covering what is known about sex differences. I think the issues are really important and I've found that it is very important to get facts right because this controversial issue is a lightning rod for anger, frustration, tension and malevolent personal biases. My strong belief, shared by many, is that competent clinical psychologists and other clinicians must work hard to understand and manage their gender biases in order to manage "counter-transference" and help their clients. I know what good science is, including good neuroscience, good cognitive science, and good clinical psychology. There are plenty of women who conduct high-quality research on mind and brain, and make huge contributions. I've witnessed this personally, repeatedly. Over the years, I've worked for and with a large number of women, and I've trained a fair number too. Among first rate scientists and scientific thinkers there are plenty of women. I imagine that they will be just as disappointed in this book as I am.

Some observations:

1) The author begins the book by emphasizing her credentials and her influences in the acknowledgements section. The academic pedigree is impressive: UC Berkeley, UCSF, Harvard Med School, Yale Med School, University College, London. She thanks a long list of great scientists, teachers and students who have influenced her thinking. It is an impressive collection of names and places. By implication, the author would seem to be a rare expert who has learned from the greats. So please note: Many of the great scientists listed here are alive. But how many of these people have endorsed the book? Unless I'm mistaken, none of them have endorsed the book. I read a mostly positive review of the book by Deborah Tannen, but it seemed a bit guarded. I didn't find an endorsement from the renowned gender researcher, Eleanor Maccoby, who reportedly critiqued drafts of the book. It appears that researchers who have dedicated their lives to science and the science of gender have remained silent about this book.

2) The author consistently confuses neural structure (brain) with psychological function (mind, mental performance, emotions, behavior). This is a huge error. The author is extraordinarily fond of citing functional gender differences. She'll talk about differences in verbal output, memory, eye contact, thoughts about sex, emotions, divorce initiation, aggression, chilhood behaviors, etc. She'll say these functional effects are in the brain, repeatedly. Good scientific thinking doesn't confuse these things. Part of the work is to measure sex differences in the brain (e.g., anatomy, physiology, chemistry). A completely separate part of the work is to measure psychological variables (e.g., behaviors, cognitions, emotions, perceptions). The third, most essential part, is to discover true correlations between structure and function. Many of the most egregious and elementary errors of cognitive neuroscience occur when researchers attempt to localize psychological functions inside brain regions or chemicals. All good neuroscientists understand this, but it is a tricky issue. One of my mentors, Davida Teller, spent years contemplating the issues surrounding "linking" hypotheses, while many great neuroscientists have struggled with this third part (Robert Efron, Steve Kosslyn, Georg von Bekesy, Gustav Fechner, and on and on and on). The author's disregard for this elementary issue is an obvious felony in my book.

3) There are PLENTY of good popular and scientific books and articles on gender differences. Take a look at the work of the eminent cognitive psychologist, Carol Tavris. She has written a scientifically-informed classic, "The Mismeasure of Woman", along with numerous other excellent articles and books. Or familiarize yourself with scientist Janet Hyde, who has recently authored a college text on gender differences. Tavris, Hyde and others aren't impressed by data suggesting massive biological differences in most mental functions, especially if the claim is that these differences are innate. Among the people who DO believe in significant gender differences, take a look at authors like Judith Hall and Leslie Brody. Scientists have studied these issues carefully since Maccoby's heyday. Compared to other sources, "The Female Brain" so simplistic and biased that it seems like a step backward. The current treatment seems dumbed-down and distorted to me.

4) The book felt like an advertisement for certain drug treatments, including controversial hormone therapies and the anti-depressant drug Zoloft. There's no doubt that the author has expertise in these areas, and most of her scholarly work is in these areas. And she spells out clinical issues and controversies in informative ways. One gets the impression that she's worked with many women clinically, and added value and comfort to their lives. I can believe these things. But I'm also aware of the rewards for towing the drug company line. Scientists and clinicians get perks for doing this. Beatrice Golomb, one of the most brilliant and courageous scientists on the planet, has discussed how these conflicts of interest compromise the quality of medical care and research. My radar went up when I kept reading about Zoloft. Zoloft is a popular antidepressant but just one brand out of many SSRIs (e.g., Prozac, Celexa, Paxil, Lexapro). Why emphasize Zoloft?

5) The book indulges in male bashing. That becomes immediately evident on the book flap: "Women will come away from this book knowing that they have a lean, mean communicating machine. Men will develop a serious case of brain envy." Oh really? The negative comments toward men are especially evident in the first third of the book. It seems like the author wants to take men down a few notches to make women feel good, if I'm not mistaken. I felt especially sad as the author discussed infants' facial gazing. She cited and over-interpreted research on facial gazing, projecting her issues onto her own son, who didn't gaze much at her face. I can say, having spent many years observing infants' looking behaviors, that infant boys are generally intrigued by faces, especially mothers' faces. If there are sex differences, they do not jump out. And if there are measurable differences, how does the author know that these things are innate? (on to the next felony).

6) The author is happy to attribute gender differences to inherent, inborn brain differences. Making that leap so quickly is another "felony." This is big, complicated issue that has attracted much attention from philosophers, psychologists, and neuroscientists. There's a whole field of behavioral genetics that struggles with the nature-nurture issue in sophisticated ways. The author claims to be aware of these things, but doesn't communicate this in a convincing way. She seems to have missed key points regarding environment and socialization. In doing so, she also seems to miss the enormous pioneering contributions of neuroscientist Marian Diamond. Diamond did much to demonstrate the relationship between brain and environment.

7) The author says a minimum amount about the large individual differences that characterize people. She acknowleges within-group variability, but always "finds ways around" these things. She prefers to focus on average differences, and this adds to the dangerous reinforcement of stereotypes. Many human abilities are distributed along a continuum, independent of gender, but the author emphasizes dichotomies. It is dangerous to pidgeonhole people into "the" female mind and "the" male mind.

8) Why is this book called "The Female Brain"? Just 2 years ago, Darlington published a book with the same title. And it really did cover structural and functional brain issues.

So that's my less than positive take on this book. The value of the book comes from its discussion of some specific clinical issues. But in a nutshell, it offended too many of my sensibilities regarding cognition, neuroscience, and the psychology of women.

The "More Likely to Be Killed By A Terrorist Than Marry Retraction" Award to This Nonsensical Book, September 26, 2006
I have created an award, named for the 1986 Newsweek story that told a generation of smart women that they were more likely to be killed by a terrorist than marry after thirty, which Newsweek retracted this year after all the damage had been done."The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine is the first winner of the award.

Here's why:
In The Female Brain, Brizendine, a San Francisco Bay area psychiatrist, who runs a clinic she started to help women who think their mental problems are caused by their hormones, describes the life cycle of a contemporary American educated, neurotic, urban, privileged professional in a culture in which science is just another option, as if she had discovered Lucy, the mother of all mankind. Behavior familiar to many of us only from the wonderful bad Heather literature is presented as hard-"wired" into the female brain. Brizendine's description of the hard-"wired" cervix and brain-softening, uncontrollable urge to mate with one's newborn baby, which makes wholesale desertion of the work place is as irresistible as the law of gravity, is the closest thing to soft porn I've seen emerging from the San Francisco Medical Center in a long time. For the many women who would find Brizendine's transparently autobiographical description of the stages of a woman's life almost entirely unfamiliar, the possibility that the book is false seems immediately obvious. If it were true, The Female Brain would be a scary book indeed. But of course it's not.

Insecure readers might coubt their own sanity when reading the thing, because the short book is supplemented by mind-numbing pages of citations to scientific journals. But happily as far as I know the articles Brizendine cites bear essentially no relationship to the propositions in the text of the book. As the only real academic to look at it reveals, she might as well have cited to passages in "Mastering the Art of French Cooking." The methodology is the all-too-familiar incredible assertions supported by a Million Little Pieces of unrelated footnotes.

"Science" books with faux citations are a problem. But perhaps a worse problem is that not a single book reviewer in the country took the time to go to the local university library and see whether Brizendine's "sources" actually said what she said they said. Even Robin Marantz Henig, of the staggeringly self-justifying, endlessly publicly edited and allegedly tansparency-seeking New York Times, was content to whimper that the closed sourcing of the scientific journals Brizendine's cites made it impossible for her to check their truthiness. The insurmountable barrier of a (no transfer) subway ride from the Times offices in Times Square to the Columbia University library was apparently too much for this dauntless investigative reporter from the Newspaper of Record.

Blessedly, Mark Liberman, the Trustee Professor of Phonetics, Department of Linguistics and Professor, Department of Computer and Information Science, at the University of Pennsylvania, was intrigued enough by Brizendine's unlikely assertion that "A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000" to try to run down that one building block of her Mars/Venus "neuropsychiatry." He reports on his blog first, that there was absolutely no legitimate source whatsoever for the factoid and speculating that some marriage counselor must have made it up, then, that metasurveys revealed no such thing, and finally, doing his own test found that men use more words than women do!

Alerted to the possibility that Brizendine might have made it all up, and his appetite whetted by the confessed public failure of the avatar of all the news that's fit to print, Liberman rummaged among his books and fired up his online university library system and investigated the citations for Brizendine's assertion that "studies indicate that girls are motivated -- on a molecular and a neurological level -- to ease and even prevent social conflict."

Here's what he found:

"My summaries of these articles, in the context of Brizendine's claims [that studies indicate girls are motivated on a molecular and neurologicallevel to ease and even prevent social conflict]:

1. Jasnow 2006: Nothing here about social conflict avoidance or preserving relationships or humans of any sex.
2. Bertolino 2005: Nothing here about social conflict or preserving relationships or teenagers of any sex.
3. Hamann 2005: Nothing here about social conflict avoidance or preserving relationships or teenagers.
4. Huber 2005: Nothing here about sex differences, about social conflict avoidance, about preserving relationships, or about humans of any age or sex.
5. Pezawas 2005: Nothing here about sex differences, about social conflict avoidance, about preserving relationships, or about teenage girls.
6. Sabatinelli 2005: Nothing here about sex differences or social conflict avoidance or preserving relationships.
7. Viau 2005: Nothing here about social conflict avoidance or about preserving relationships.
8. Wilson 2005: Because Penn lacks a subscription to this journal, and I was unwilling to pay $30 for a 7-page article, I'm not sure about the details. Unlike the other articles cited, it does have something to do with social interaction, but there's apparently no direct relevance to social conflict avoidance or preserving relationships.
9. Phelps 2004: Nothing here about social conflict avoidance or preserving relationships."


Inspired by Liberman, I did a little snooping into the vita of the self-proclaimed UCSF Professor and found that she is in fact not an academic professor, but a clinical professor, running a clinic she herself founded treating women's psychiatric problems from a hormonal standpoint, at $180 a session.

Now clinical professors do good and important work in many institutions, but this does mean that she has not had to undertake and meet the rigorous competition for an academic position at a leading medical school. Just as well. During her fourteen years as a "Professor," prior to the 2006 Terrorist Retraction Prize winning "Female Brain," Brizendine was an author on exactly seven papers, the most recent one published four years ago in 2002. According to PubMed, a service of the National Library of Medicine and National Institutes of Health, which is cited on Brizendine's own academic bio webpage, she was not even the first named researcher on any of the seven. Just to put her accomplishments in context, her colleague in the psychiatry department at UCSF, Associate Professor Steven P. Hamilton, has published twenty-four papers since 1994, first listed author on eleven.
I guess it depends on what "pioneering neuropsychiatrist" is . . . is.

A quick web search for other Brizendine contributions to medical science turned up report that she told the audience at a fund-raiser that "the World Health Organization has projected that by 2003, depression will be the number one disease in the world, surpassing diabetes, heart disease and others." I guess it depends on what "number one disease" is, but I would be surprised if the WHO thought depression was a worse threat to human well-being than, say, malaria or AIDS.

The book stores are full of loony books that look at first glance like science, so it is probably too much to ask that the publisher withdraw its endorsement of The Female Brain, as publishers did in the cases of the fake memoir "A Thousand Little Pieces" and the plagiarized "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life." But I venture to guess that if a book about anything except why women should behave in old-fashioned and traditional ways contained this staggering percentage of misrepresentation and error, someone beside a blogging linguistics professor would have picked it up long ago.

And so, to Louann Brizendine, that self-described pioneering neuropsychiatrist of no apparently significant academic publications and false or unrelated data points, the First, Annual "More Likely To Be Killed By a Terrorist Retraction Award" for 2006.

Readers who are not critical thinkers will enjoy this book, June 14, 2007
XXXXX

I bet you didn't know these facts:

(1) "Men use about seven thousand words per day. Women use about twenty-thousand."
(2) "Girls arrive already wired as girls, and boys arrive already wired as boys."
(3) "Men are on average twenty times more aggressive than women."
(4) "Girls are motivated--on a molecular and neurological level--to ease and prevent social conflict."
(5) "85% of twenty- to thirty-year-old males think about sex every fifty-two seconds and women think about it once a day--up to three or four times on fertile days."
(6) "Men pick up the subtle signs of sadness in a female face only 40 percent of the time, whereas women can pick up these signs 90 percent of the time."
(7) "65 percent of divorces after the age of fifty are initiated by women."

These seven facts are some of the interesting information that you'll learn in this book by Louann Brizendine M.D., a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) and founder of the Women's and Teen Girls' Mood and Hormone Clinic.

The thesis of this book is that the female brain sees the world differently and reacts differently than the male brain in every stage of life from newborn to old age. A women's behavior is radically different from that of a man due to mainly hormonal differences. This book is quite easy to read and, in fact, reads like a novel.

However, I found the book to have minimal neuroscience (as suggested by the book's title). It was comprised mainly of anecdotes (some autobiographical) that exaggerate the differences between women and men thus reinforcing gender stereotypes. As well, I found many contradictions throughout. In places of her book, Brizendine is also surprisingly na�ve.

When I was reading this book, what struck me was the exactness of some of the facts the author presents (such as the seven presented above). So I decided to search on the Internet for other reviews of this book from mainly scholarly sources. The avalanche of negative information I found was astounding!!

A major problem concerned her extensive endnotes.

From reading this mass of negative information, it seems to me that Brizendine is attempting to present an authoritative voice to impress despite what the authors say in her numerous endnotes. That is, her supporting citations don't support her claims. If you couple this with Brizendine's impressive academic credentials (highlighted especially in the book's acknowledgements section and inside back flap), then most people, unfortunately, accept everything she says at face value. (By the way, the seven "facts" above are not supported by Brizendine's citations.)

I was intrigued by this so I checked out Brizendine's brief biography on the book's inside back flap. A piece of information that intrigued me states that "She has written in professional texts and journals." What I wanted to know was how many professional research papers she has written in. Again from searching on the Internet I found she had written exactly 7 research papers in collaboration with others and she's not the first named author in any of the seven. (To put this in context, her colleague in the Psychiatry Department at UCSF, Associate Professor Steven P. Hamilton has published 24 papers since 1994 and is first listed author on 11.)

For a "pioneering neuropsychiatrist," (honest, this is what it says on the book's inside front flap) she has a poor research paper publication rate.

At the beginning of her endnotes and references section, she states in a preamble the following:

"I have gathered the work of many scientists in various disciplines in order to arrive at this understanding of the female brain."

From my understanding of this quotation, she used only the work of only scientists to establish her claims. However, in her references are works authored by Allen Pease and Allan Garner. These people are not scientists!!

Also, in this preamble she calls everything she has written in her book a "theory" (a collection of general principles that is put forward as an explanation for a set of known facts and empirical findings). I found her theory to be quite rigid since she doesn't allow for or explain any exceptions (there are many) and this undermines her entire theory. Yes, men and woman's brains are different but within each gender, you'll find a wide range of behavior. To ignore this fact as Brizendine does is to present a very narrow view of human experience.

I have to agree with an October 2006 article in the publication "Nature" that was entitled "Psychoneuroindoctrinology" (a pun on the word pyschoneuroendrocrinology) which states that this book "fails to meet even the most basic standards of accuracy and balance," "is riddled with scientific errors," and "is misleading about the processes of brain development, the neuroendocrine system, and the nature of sex differences in general."

Finally, I should explain my rating for this book. The majority of those who are not critical thinkers will probably give this book 5 stars. The majority of those who ARE critical thinkers will probably give this book 1 star. My rating is the average of these two extremes.

In conclusion, those readers who are not critical thinkers will probably thoroughly enjoy this book. Critical thinking readers will probably have the opposite response!!


{first published 2006; acknowledgements; the female brain (a human brain diagram with captions); cast of neuro-hormone characters (list of hormones with descriptions that affect a woman's brain); phases of a female's life (chart); introduction; seven chapters; epilogue; main narrative 165 pages; 3 appendices; notes; references; index}

XXXXX

Excellent, highly readable with particularly good sections on sexual behavior and bonding, August 17, 2006
When I first picked up this book I was a bit put off because there were some comments that weren't particularly complimentary to men that seemed unfair and biased. However, the overall tone of the book was good and I was able to overlook the occasional comment that seemed a bit "off" with respect to holding a balanced position on the genders. Other reviewers have also commented on this from their perspectives, so I won't elaborate any further. You can read these reviews for yourself.

This was a difficult book to put down because it used stories to illustrate the different stages of a woman's life and the physical correlations to her behavior. At the same time, it painlessly introduced important information about the brain, hormones and how these are connected to behavioral changes in a woman's life. While this exploration was not comprehensive, it was useful, concise, understandable and well-suited to a non-professional audience.

This title also contained a lot of similar information on men and I found this information to be more than a superficial smattering. I wouldn't say the book is titled incorrectly, but don't be misled that it only includes information about the female brain. It contains lots of good content on the male brain as well.

The chapters that most grabbed by attention were on the teenage years, developing trust and sexual behavior. These sections brought in a lot of good references from a variety of sources including evolutionary biology, anthropology and neurobiology. Since the author was presenting her own unique perspective as a clinician, she did not bring in a lot of other significant research. This is a legitimate criticism. However, this is a very complex area and I found that the information was an excellent introduction to a vast body of research.

For the average layperson, the mixture of science, story and the implications of these facts to everyday life is perfect. For the scientist or other technical audiences, it may not have enough meat from an information standpoint, but the story and interweaving of different threads of research makes the book very engaging for anyone including a professional.

By education, I was trained early in my career as a biologist and biochemist. Later, I went on to study psychology. I had difficulty putting the book down and it flowed like a good novel in terms of the writing. The organization of this book was well thought out, particularly the way that different research findings were presented to support the author's argument without interrupting the flow of the story.

For many people who haven't read David Buss or anthropology, the insights on short and long term mating strategies will be an eye opener. I also liked the cross cultural references to support her arguments that certain behaviors appear to be due to shared neural architecture rather than cultural influences. There is a lot of controversial content here that is good food for thought.

The author tells the story of the human brain concisely with the impact of a good novel. This book is worth owning for anyone who wants to understand women better, how they change over the years and how female psychology correlates to development and physiology. As you go deeper, however, you will find that this book may not be comprehensive enough.

I didn't find this book to be overly reductionistic. It looked at the impact of physiology on behavior, but it didn't reduce behavior to physiology. The only bias that was sometimes annoying is the implication that men were somehow "less than" rather than "complimentary to" women. This bias wasn't usually glaring, but I felt it was often present.

This book has become somewhat controversial, but that doesn't change the fact that it includes a lot of great information and puts it in the hands of the average person. If you are really serious about this area, I would pick up additional books to compliment this author's unique perspective. While I didn't necessarily agree with everything that Dr. Brizendine said, I certainly benefited from engaging with this book and sparked my curiosity to know more about certain areas of interest.

If you are considering buying this book, I think it's important to remember it was written by a clinician and not a research scientist. The value of the material is based on ONE physician's experience over her career. She is presenting a mixture of research material and her own opinion. If you are clear about this, I think you will enjoy it.

This is clearly a book for a GENERAL AUDIENCE. I believe this author wrote from a sincere place and I don't fault her for writing from a first person perspective. Like a good historical novel, this book captures the essence of the subject, but does sacrifice some accuracy in the process. If you are looking for more hard science, you may find something else more to your liking.

Some books on related topics that I enjoyed were the Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel (general book on how the mind develops apart from gender differences), Emotional Intelligence (Goleman) and various gender-related titles by Carol Tavris. (The book by Carol Tavris on Anger is not directly related to this topic, but it is excellent as well.)

I also like the work of Antonio Demasio on the mind-body relationship, role of emotions and the development of consciousness. There is some speculation and a fair amount of first-person perspective in his books too, but they are quite good overall and he is a neurologist with good credentials. THE FEELING OF WHAT HAPPENS is the most dense title and LOOKING FOR SPINOZA is probably the most accessible.

If you want a more controversial and provocative read, PHILOSOPHY IN THE FLESH talks in-depth about the embodied mind from a cognitive perspective. There are also many good books out there on gender differences and they are referred to in other reviews including the spotlight review above. In short, if this is an area of interest, you need to read a broad array of material because I don't think any one author has a monopoly on the truth. The differences between men and women are mysterious and with over a quadrillion synaptic brain connections to consider, I doubt the full picture of brain gender differences will emerge anytime soon.

Before you consider buying this book..., September 30, 2006
... please read Dr. Mark Liberman's critique of its scholarship, which recently appeared in the Boston Globe. I also work in academia, and am galled by Dr. Brizendine's sloppy research and dismayed that the publisher did not do more fact-checking before agreeing to publish her book.

"The Female Brain" does have a nice, breezy style common in many pop-science works; Dr. Brizendine writes well. This makes it all the more unfortunate, however, that she bases many of her arguments on "facts" and statistics that are not backed up by scientific literature.

Sadly, this is yet another in a long line of books that trumpet the neurological basis of gender differences with little attention to the complexity of the issues. Yes, innate gender differences almost certainly exist, but the truth is that we don't yet know enough about how the brain works to really tease out such differences. I am always disappointed when authors, especially scientists, gloss over these difficulties in an attempt to draw more attention to their work. I realize that it's more exciting to claim "I know how the female brain works! Women think this way!" rather than to admit that one has some preliminary findings and hypotheses about male vs. female tendencies, and that individual differences are often greater than male vs. female differences. But it's also disheartening to think that many people will believe Dr. Brizendine's claims without realizing that they are principally overgeneralizations, peppered with outright inaccuracies.

Pretty Good, August 14, 2006
This is a book that I would highly recommend to any woman going through big changes in her life, be it pregnancy, menopause, or what have you. It would also be useful for men (such as myself) who find themselves downright puzzled by what can often seem like the completely random, unpredictable behavior of the women in their lives.

The book as a whole is chock full of interesting information about how exactly the female brain works. To my objective, logical male brain, Dr. Brizendine is at her best when she's discussing science and experimental evidence. Unfortunately, she often lapses into anecdotes that seem to try their hardest to portray men in a rather poor light, particularly in the opening chapters of the book. She usually brings us back to reality by citing empirical evidence that backs up her antidotes, but for the first few chapters of the book Dr. Brizendine reminded me of the little league umpire who calls a fair game, but openly roots for his kid's team and occasionally boos the other team. I almost put the book down after reading Dr. Brizendine's admission that she was disappointed in her infant son's inability to respond to facial expressions the way a friend's infant daughter could. (I hope Dr. Brizendine was watching her now-teenaged son's expression when he read that particular passage.)

Luckily, Dr. Brizendine soon abandons the "women good, men bad" undertones of the first few chapters. So fellas, grit your teeth and soldier through the first few chapters - the rhetoric eventually dies down, and some good, fascinating information takes its place.

File in Fiction, not Science., July 3, 2008
The problem with this book is that Brizendine actively misrepresents research and uses numbers that are basically made-up. Her "science" doesn't stand up to scrutiny.

For instance, on differences between male and female speech patterns she claims that women speak three times more words than men in a day, and speak almost twice as fast. In fact, no reliable studies had been done when the book came out. Prompted by the book, somebody actually bothered to measure, and it turned out that men and women speak about the same number of words, and men speak (very slightly) faster. You can get details about the studies from the excellent blog LanguageLog, which reports on real linguistic science. Google for the post titled "Gabby guys: the effect size".

In sum: This book should be filed in the Fiction section, not the Science section.

Not the way we might like it to be but the way it is, August 7, 2006
I have the sense that Louann Brizendine would perhaps like to have discovered a somewhat different picture of the 'female brain' than the one she reveals in this book. A strong feminist her researches, and above all the cumulative scientific evidence she brings here point to strong differences between the 'female' and the 'male ' brain.

The first is, that the female brain is an 'eight- lane superhighway' when it comes to the emotional life, while the 'male brain'is a narrow path in the forest. Women are a lot better at empathizing and understanding others than men are. Men on the other hand are more preoccupied with specific, external tasks. Women care about intimacy.Women think about sex every couple of days or so, and men every hour of the day. Women talk a lot more than men, and receive a great 'high' in doing so.

In one of the interviews for the book she explains the basic Learning differences between the sexes.

"Girls, develop language skills earlier than boys do; boys develop visual and spatial skills earlier than girls. By 2 1/2, many girls are actively choosing not to play with boys, not for any cultural or sociological reason but because boys have not yet grasped the concept of verbal give-and-take. Boys, with their faster-developing spatial skills, are more likely to gravitate to building blocks and train sets and physical activities that require minimal verbal interaction. "

She says that the skills tend to level out in high- school age and strongly recommmends that girls be given at this age intensive scientific training as a way of catching up with what boys have been accumulating previously.

Perhaps however the most important aspect of the book relates to Brizendine's work as psychiatrist. Her understanding of the hormonal and physiological forces at play in various stages of the woman's life enable her to find answers in specfic cases which have in the past been overlooked.

It is this therapeutic rather than polemical approach to the female brain, and its special qualities which makes this such a highly recommended work.

Excellent Step Towards Correcting Political Correctness!, August 2, 2006
Many years ago I read a book focusing on the complexity of the human brain - all the chemicals and enzymes involved, and the impact of various shortages or overages. That book convinced me that there are scientific bases for claims that various groups are different; unfortunately, the PC police then took over. "The Female Brain" moves us back towards science-based fact-finding.

Brizendine begins by pointing out that while male brains are about 9% larger (even after correcting for body size), they have the same number of cells as female brains. Thus, size is not a meaningful difference between the sexes. However, she also tells us that there is a 2:1 ratio of depression in women vs. men, and that this differential doesn't appear until puberty - thus, chemistry does seem to be an important distinguishing factor. Further, new tools such as PET and fMRI have since documented an astonishing array of differences between men and women. Examples include different brain sensitivities to stress and conflict, use of different brain areas to solve problems and process language, etc. Women have 400% more neurons then men in the brain centers for language and hearing; men have 2.5X brain space devoted to sex, as well as larger centers for action and aggression.

As for the claim that women do less well than men in science and men (eg. Larry Summers, at Harvard), Brizendine asserts that the abilities are the same, but that estrogen causes girls to lose interest in pursuits that require more solitary work. Because of their larger communication centers, girls grow up to be more talkative - using an average 20,000 words/day, vs. 7,000 for men.

"The Female Brain" examines male-female differences over a human's life-cycle. Menopause brings other changes - less interest in sex, and greater anger (65% of divorces over age 50 are initiated by women).

Bottom Line: "The Female Brain" is a great step forward. It is an easy read, with plenty of objective documentation in its end-notes.

Light on science, heavy on anecdote and pro-drug message., August 17, 2006
I just finished reading this book to help me understand the females in my life. I'm a XY chromosomal type.

Things I liked:

1. simple chronological development of changing hormonal, structural, and social aspects surrounding the female brain through life stages.
2. modern comentary on menopause, fertility, career, and relationships related to female hormones and brain development.
3. different perspective of woman than "Maxim" or other mens mags present.

Dissapointing aspects of book:

1. seemingly embedded advertisement for "Zoloft" in many anecdotes. I don't think necessary to use specific brand name of drug used since many drugs in same class. I'm affraid many solutions to the anecdotal hormonal/brain development challenges amounted to a prescription of some sort of blockbuster $$$ drug.
2. book reads much like a collection of therapy anecdotes and not a lot of hard science, statistics, or actual brain stuff.
3. reading book can give the impression the female brain/psychy is dominated by hormonal extremes and fraught with instability.
4. Book has ~40% of pages dedicated to a bibliography of sorts. Very light read overal, finished in ~3 hours reading. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Welcome to Los Angeles, birthplace and residence of Tori Spelling.

It’s not every Hollywood starlet whose name greets you on a Virgin Airways flight into la-la land. But Tori Spelling has come to accept that her life is a spectacle. Her name is her brand, and business is booming. Too bad when your job is to be yourself, you can’t exactly take a break.

Tori finally has everything she thought she wanted—a loving family and a successful career—but trying to live a normal life in Hollywood is a little weird. With the irresistible wit, attitude, and humor that fans have come to love, the New York Times bestselling author of sTORI telling and Mommywood is back with more hilarious, heartwarming, and candid stories of juggling work, marriage, motherhood, and reality television cameras.

Tori comes clean about doing her time on jury duty, stalking herself on Twitter, discovering her former 90210 castmates’ "I Hate Tori" club, contracting swine flu, and contacting Farrah Fawcett from the dead. Like many mothers, she struggles to find balance (Stars, they’re just like us!)—only most women don’t have to battle it out with paparazzi at the grocery store. She talks openly about the darker side of life in the spotlight: media scrutiny over her weight and her marriage to Dean McDermott, her controversial relationship with Dean’s ex-wife, and her unfolding reconciliation with her mother.

Having it all isn’t always easy—especially when you’re a perfectionist—but with the help of her unconventional family and friends, an underwear-clad spiritual cleansing or two, and faith in herself, she’s learning to find her happy ending. Because when you’re Tori Spelling, every day brings uncharted terriTORI.***

Just when you thought sTORI time was over, the beloved Hollywood starlet has so much more to say. ***"My life has changed dramatically in the past several years. I married Dean; we moved several times; we had two children; we created a show that has gone into its fifth season on the air. I have love. I have a family. I have a home. I have work. It’s all I ever wished for. But trying to be a perfect wife, mother, and mini-mogul has its challenges, especially if, like me, you want to be perfect at all of them at the same time." —from uncharted terriTORI ... Read more

Reviews

Not Tori's best effort, June 25, 2010
I love "Beverly Hills, 90210." I like Tori Spelling very much and enjoy her reality show. I also liked her two previous books, but for me, "Uncharted TerriTORI" just does not measure up. First of all, I don't think the book had a real theme like the previous ones did. It's supposed to be about Tori making herself sick by being such a workaholic, but I felt like all the chapters were a bit disjointed. Secondly, I watched Season 5 of "Tori and Dean," and I was disappointed that so many of the events covered on the show were also presented in this book. I already watched the episodes about the family's cross-country road trip and Mama Lola's visit to L.A.; I didn't need to read about them again, especially when the book didn't really offer any new information on these topics. Finally, I just don't think this book was as well-written as Tori's other memoirs. I get the feeling it was put together really quickly...it all felt a little rushed, which may account for some of the problems I've mentioned. I still love you, Tori, but if you choose to publish a fourth book, I hope you put a bit more effort into it.

Third time (is still!) the charm!, June 27, 2010
I'm going to (seemingly) go against most of the other reviews when I write that I enjoyed this book as much as the first two. Of course, the first book was set over a what--20 something year period and the second one was about just being married and then quickly having two kids. I really enjoy her books, as even though she does lead a completely different life than most of us, she works extremely hard and shows that it IS hard as a female to try to have that great balence between work and kids and husband. What you see in public is the perfect persona. What you read is that she is REAL--like us (okay, except that she had Aaron Spelling as a father!) with fears, faults and etc, which she is not afraid to admit or own up to. Family matters (ex-wife and step son), having 2 children and realizing that your life is now theirs)is hard enough. Having your life hung out for all to see, although for the most part, her choice,--this book is a "her side of the story" type of thing. She shows time and time again that she is human-- -for example, I flew for years, loving it, completely unafraid . .and later turned into a fearful flyer. Her description of what happens to her when she flies is perfect, as only another fearful flyer would know! Or when her son hit her, knocking off her hat and glasses . .hysterical to hear as only kids can embarass parents like that! Or when her husband told her that she had changed . .well yes .. after two kids and work and daily life.. it sometimes gets hard, and yes again, it does get in the way of sex at times. Sorry guys! We don't do it on purporse! Way to go Tori! Keep writing . .love you style!

Did we read the same book?, June 21, 2010
Let's set a few reviewer comments straight. Sure Dean rips Tori's IV out but when she transfers hospitals, she finds out the first hospital misdiagnosed her on many accounts, botched a spinal tap and she did have H1N1 after being told she didn't. It wasn't just a diva move-she had suffered with nothing but a pat on the head for 5 days. I think Dean ripping her IV out was one of the most compassionate things he's ever done for her.

Sure the book rehashes the show, but it gives a lot of behind the scenes anecdotes, too.

I don't see this book as a book of complaints. I see Tori admitting her faults, seeking several sources to try and fix those faults, and in the end admitting she's got a long way to go.

Hey, maybe I am an optimist and choose to see her trying to come to terms with her past, micro-managed present, and future. She wears multiple hats and tries to wear them all well. Why should that bother me? It doesn't. I don't see the celebrity in this book-I see the Mom, wife, woman. And she is struggling in spite of herself. That honesty may get boring to some, but for me, I appreciate a celebrity publically stating she doesn't have it all together as a woman no matter what it looks like on camera.

I believe the Tori in this book is more authentic than what you see on Tori and Dean. But hey, read the book and you be the judge.

Makes her sound like a wack-a-doodle!, July 21, 2010
It took me a while to hop on the Tori Spelling bandwagon. I was never a fan of hers during 90210 and didn't care to see her movies or give her a second thought, really. Then her reality show came out and two of my girlfriends (LibraryLove being one of them) talked about how much they loved her and how funny she was on her show with her family. So I sighed heavily and watched an episode of the show. I was surprised to find I actually liked her! Tori's wit and humor cracked me up and her sweet relationship with Dean was endearing and cute to watch.

So naturally I stayed on the bandwagon and read (and loved) both of her first two books, sTORI telling and Mommywood. I loved how candid she was and how much she shared. My mouth dropped while reading of her mothers' neuroses at her first wedding, and I couldn't imagine having a mother as neurotic as Candy Spelling.

While the show has fallen down my favorite list, I still wanted to read the newest Tori book. But I was so disappointed with this one. More than one chapter detailed events that have aired on the show (stale material, anyone?) and I felt like the book makes Tori Spelling look like a freak-show. I mean, really. The woman is afraid of EVERYTHING and quite frankly, that's exhausting to read about over and over. She (admittedly) lives her life in fear of anything and everything that could happen in a given day. I rolled my eyes more than once, thinking "Get a hold of yourself, woman."

Tori's obsession with other world mediums is out there. She consults psychics (even gifting visits with them for loved ones) and has voodoos performed in her home and on her person. Feeling she had an evil spirit within her, "Mama Lola...combined cornmeal, dried beans, vegetables, and chopped-up yams. She added gin and Florida water, a cologne from the nineteenth century that's still popular in South American and Caribbean cultures...chanted...slashed my clothing into strips." She goes on for an entire chapter about this experience and it leaves me (the reader) wondering why this wasn't a "private" event that she refrained from publishing?

Reading about her going to her mother's for a Christmas party convinced me she is JUST like her mother. Once portrayed to be a loony tune, Candy Spelling raised a daughter just like her. Communicating through Candy's assistant, Tori plans to attend a Christmas party at "The Manor", the obscene Spelling private residence. Reading about Tori getting ready for this was unreal. She went to Papyrus to get their fanciest gift wrap paper for the hostess gift she was giving her mother. When curling her hair, she writes, "How would my mother react? Would she think I was too old for long, loose curls? Would wearing it up be more lady-like?" While picking out her outfit, she writes "I started with red...but then I got nervous about wearing red because I didn't want my mother or anyone else to think I was trying to steal the show. I must have tried on a total of eight dresses." I mean, listen, I get that there are perfectionists out there, but this is exhausting. No wonder Tori winds up in the hospital, literally sick to her stomach with stress and migraines on more than one occasion. She drives herself crazy!

I am disappointed to post a negative review because I've been a fan for a while. But this book paints Tori Spelling as a self-obsessed, neurotic, spoiled and materialistic wack-a-doodle. Definitely not my favorite of her books. Though she was still funny in her writing, the craziness far outweighed the comedy. Maybe next time?

2.5/5 stars

Should have stopped with two books, June 16, 2010
I enjoyed Tori's first two books. She (or her ghostwriter) did a nice job of constructing an admittedly neurotic but ultimately charming girl caught up in a whirlwind of the celebrity life. I never watched her reality show, but through the books she seemed to be a sweet, sad person. I didn't have much frame of reference - after all, I don't personally know any actresses born to incredibly wealthy moguls. Her books made her seem almost normal.

This one, however, shattered the illusion. In one anecdote, Tori is admitted to a hospital for chronic headaches. She's not getting the pain medicine she wants fast enough. So what does she do? Dean rips out her IV, carries her down to the ER, and calls out for help. I've worked in hospitals for over ten years. Who does that? Let me tell you, nobody does that. Crazy people approach that, but that behavior represents an INSANE amount of drama-seeking, narcissism, and entitlement. And I realize Dean was doing the carrying, but she writes about it like it's no big deal.

It colored the rest of the book for me. Tori was no longer relateable in any way, shape or form. I've lost interest. There's enough wackadoos out there, I dont need to read about one more. The girl who was trying to be normal in abnormal circumstances was interesting. Another actress lost in clouds of her own Very Special Needs is not.

Toried out, June 18, 2010
If Tori Spelling ever had anything remotely interesting on her mind (which is debatable), she has now officially run out of thoughts. Her third book "Uncharted TerriTORI" is an exercise in vapidity, in which Spelling disingenuously rambles on about the exact same subjects that her previous books were about -- and honestly, she usually comes across as a spoiled brat playing at being a grown-up.

A lot of her essays are on pretty mundane events -- meeting her hubby's understandably bitter ex-wife, the woes of motherhood, family vacations, stress, clinginess towards friends, jury duty, meeting her grandparents, her son's first day at school, swine flu, and so on. In the hands of a more self-aware person this wouldn't be a problem, but Spelling acts as if she is literally the first person to ever experience these things.

And she rambles about far less mundane things: what meanies the 90210 cast are (according to her, she was the "sweet" one and they should just LOVE her), sex in a hospital bed, overcoming the paparazzi, starring in a reality show, the terrors of staying at a cheap motel, and adopting a pig. Plus, she tries to overcome her aviatophobia by going to a psychic AND a past-life specialist, and tries to cure headaches with voodoo BEFORE consulting a doctor. Only in L.A., people.

"Uncharted TerriTORI" is basically a big puff pastry, filled with air and flakes -- and reading it is a lot like listening to someone nattering about the minutiae of their uninteresting life. Tori Spelling seems to have two modes of thought: either she is desperately trying to convince us that she's "just people" or she's dissecting mundane events and blowing them WILDLY out of proportion.

So unsurprisingly, a lot of "Uncharted TerriTORI" is painfully boring, as Spelling either does boring stuff or contemplates her own surgically-enhanced navel. The entire book is written in a coyly disingenuous style, with all the boring stuff only broken by moments of unintentionally hilarious melodrama -- just look at the scene where Spelling's husband rips out her IV and carries her (soap opera style) through the hospital, yelling for doctors. Who can take that seriously?

Spelling herself doesn't come across too well -- she seems pampered, clingy, whiny, and laughably entitled ("Maybe I was born into wealth as punishment for my behavior asn an Egyptian pharoah"). Additionally, her obsession with herself (a whole chapter on TWEETING!) is just painful. And though she spends a LOT of time trying to convince us that her marriage is not "loveless" as the tabloids say, her husband comes across as a manipulative creep who is just tolerating her.

"Uncharted TerriTORI" is an exercise in tedium, similar to dragging yourself across a very long bed of nails -- boring, painful and seemingly never over.

An Enjoyable Read, October 23, 2010
For all the negative comments written about this book, I have been pleasantly surprised at how interesting it actually is. I've read Tori Spelling's first two books and from some reviews had expected nothing new in THIS one. To the contrary, - - Though I've only read about half of "Unchartered territori" so far, I find nothing redundant. To the contrary, it's held my interest because there is nothing repetitive - nothing I'd read in her earlier books. If you enjoyed reading her first two books, I assume most of readers would find this one interesting and enjoyable also.

A special pick for fans of Tori Spelling, especially audiences who enjoyed her prior books, September 19, 2010
UNCHARTED TERRITORI will find its place in both film and biography collections, offering her stories of juggling work, family and reality TV alike. From her bout with swine flu to jury duty and trying to balance motherhood with acting requirements, this is a special pick for fans of Tori Spelling, especially audiences who enjoyed her prior books.

ANOTHER INTERESTING STORI, September 17, 2010
I AM NOT A FAN OF HER'S BEYOND I LIKED 90210 AND I HAVE READ HER OTHER TWO BOOKS.....IM 46 YRS OLD....HER SHOW I HAVE WATCHED OCCASIONALLY.....AGAIN TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT...BUT HER BOOKS ARE VERY ENTERTAINING. QUICK READS THAT KEEP THE READER INTERESTED. I AM ALMOST DONE WITH THIS LATEST BOOK....LAUGHED SO HARD AS SHE RECOUNTS HER BOUT WITH H1N1...SHE'S REALLY FUNNY ! THERE IS EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF SENSITIVITY MIXED IN THERE...I WOULD BUY HER NEXT BOOK JUST BASED ON HER TRACK RECORD. I THINK SHE GETS A BAD RAP....KUDOS TO HER FOR REINVENTING HERSELF AND NOT RIDING ON ANYONE'S COATAILS.....THAT MIGHT BE HOW SHE GOT IN TO THE BUSINESS..BUT IT ISN'T WHAT'S SUSTAINED HER. I WILL SAY IT HELPS TO KNOW SOMETHNG ABOUT HER PERSONALITY AND THE WAY SHE SPEAKS....THEN WHEN YOU'RE READING YOU GET HER HUMOR RIGHT AWAY...SHE WAS VEERY FUNNY ON THE REALITY SHOW SHE HAD BEFORE THE DEAN DAYS.

Tori Tells All Again, August 24, 2010
I am an unapologetic Beverly Hills 90210 fan (the original, that is). There, it's out in all its embarrassed and shameful glory. As such, I am also a fan of Tori Spelling as well as her now defunct series So NoTORIous and the current Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. Don't judge.

I enjoyed Tori's first book, sTORI Telling. I found it to be much like So NoTORIous - - refreshing, able to make light of her own celebrity, laugh at herself and appearing honest. Tori is humorous and it came through in spades with sTORI Telling.

Not so much with this effort. Not that there is anything wrong with Unchartered TerriTORI. The writing style and the tone keep in step with her first tome and there are some very humorous sections in this one, including the opening chapter with Tori on an airplane, headed back to Los Angeles (or better known as "the birthplace of Tori Spelling!").

I liked the portions of the book that dealt with Murray (although keep a tissue handy), with the reliable and beloved Patsy and even the chapter on how Tori's former 90210 co-stars currently feel about her today. Just like high school, indeed.

But truth be told, I could have done without the jab at Mary Jo Eustace, Dean McDermott's former wife. They are divorced, have been divorced, and I think it's high time that Tori refrain from reminding us that Dean left her and the state of their sex life at the time. It makes Tori appear petty and churlish.

And if, like me, you watch Tori and Dean's Oxygen network reality show, much of the book will no surprise to you, as you've already seen it, from the cross country trip in the RV, to Dean's motorcycle accident to Mama Lola. That was likely the biggest disappointment to me - - that the book felt like a rehashing of what was previously aired on Oxygen.

But like her previous efforts, Unchartered TerriTORI was a quick and breezy read, as light as cotton candy and ultimately as filling. The book is a cute read while immersed in it but you might be left thinking that Tori wrote about a whole lot of nothing by the last page.

I would recommend it for Tori Spelling fans and for a light and pleasant beach read but would probably encourage a library rental versus a purchase.
... Read more

Editorial Review

REBECCA TRAISTER, whose coverage of the 2008 presidential election for Salon confirmed her to be a gifted cultural observer, offers a startling appraisal of what the campaign meant for all of us. Though the election didn’t give us our first woman president or vice president, the exhilarating campaign was nonetheless transformative for American women and for the nation. In Big Girls Don’t Cry, her electrifying, incisive and highly entertaining first book, Traister tells a terrific story and makes sense of a moment in American history that changed the country’s narrative in ways that no one anticipated.

It was all as unpredictable as it was riveting: Hillary Clinton’s improbable rise, her fall and her insistence (to the consternation of her party and the media) on pushing forward straight through to her remarkable phoenix flight from the race; Sarah Palin’s attempt not only to fill the void left by Clinton, but to alter the very definition of feminism and claim some version of it for conservatives; liberal rapture over Barack Obama and the historic election of our first African-American president; the media microscope trained on Michelle Obama, harsher even than the one Hillary had endured fifteen years earlier. Meanwhile, media women like Katie Couric and Rachel Maddow altered the course of the election, and comedians like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler helped make feminism funny.

What did all this mean to the millions of people who were glued to their TV sets, and for the country, its history and its future?

As Traister sees it, the 2008 election was good for women. The campaign for the presidency reopened some of the most fraught American conversations—about gender, race and generational difference, about sexism on the left and feminism on the right—difficult discussions that had been left unfinished but that are crucial to further perfecting our union.

The election was also catalytic, shaping the perspectives of American women and men from different generations and backgrounds, altering the way that all of us will approach questions of women and power far into the future. When Clinton cried, when Palin reached for her newborn at the end of a vice presidential debate, when Couric asked a series of campaign-ending questions, the whole country was watching women’s history—American history—being made.

Throughout, Traister weaves in her own experience as a thirtysomething feminist sorting through all the events and media coverage—vacillating between Clinton and Obama and forced to face tough questions about her own feminism, the women’s movement, race and the different generational perspectives of women working toward political parity some ninety years after their sex was first enfranchised.

It was a time of enormous change, and there is no better guide through that explosive, infuriating, heartbreaking and sometimes hilarious year than Rebecca Traister. Big Girls Don’t Cry offers an enduring portrait of dramatic cultural and political shifts brought about by this most historic of American contests. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Hooray for the personal assistant that can go everywhere Mom does. Mom's Family Desk Planner ensures no dentist appointment, piano lesson, soccer practice, PTA meeting, business lunch (or family movie-and-pizza night—especially family movie-and-pizza night) falls by the wayside. It's a no-nonsense organizational format lightened up with Sandra Boynton's quirky and adorable skateboarding sheep, movie-going chickens, befuddled hippos, and sax-playing pigs. Each spread features a full-color illustration on the left-hand side and, on the right, a roomy week-at-a-glance grid with two write-in columns: one for Mom's schedule, one for the rest of the family's. In the back are 52 weeks of perforated grocery and to-do lists, plus space for important phone numbers. Each cover sports a handy storage pocket, and 150 full-color stickers are bound into the book.
... Read more

Reviews

Really fun but has some problems, November 13, 2010
I LOVE the layout of the calendar, the cute pictures, the two columns (one for me and one for family). I love all of the fun stuff at the back and the to do lists and grocery lists. Plus, I am in love with Sandra Boyton, and this has all the personality of her books.

Some mamas have already mentioned the sticker thing. They are a strange assortment. They are super cute, but there are not enough of the ones that I need. I can over look that because it isn't difficult to find other stickers to supplement.

Also, the paper is frustrating. It is glossy so that some of my favorite roller ball pens take a long time to "dry" on the page and get smeared. When I write on one page, the illustration from the back gets rubbed onto the next page, almost as if I was using carbon copies! Maybe I just write too hard, but it seems that that shouldn't happen.

Finally, I may be the only one, but I don't like the 17 month format. I mean...I am finishing my 2010 calendar and I want to buy another for Jan. 2011. But wait...the next one starts in August, so I waste almost 1/3 of my calendar. Sigh.

I am still giving it 4 stars because of the format and the cuteness factor. It really is a handy organizer, it just has a couple of flaws that could be fixed. Overall I would recommend this to anyone who doesn't care about the things I mentioned above. :)

Planner, August 31, 2010
I've been using the Mom's wall calendar since my children were in
Jr. High. Now, my oldest has graduated college! I found the desk
planner about 4 years ago & wished I'd found it sooner. Large spaces
to make all my notes, cute stickers to highlight and accent. Pages for
phone numbers, notes, scribbling, doodling and the I LOVE the "to do"/Grocery
tear off lists in the back! And when I share them with people, they are soon
buying the calendar themselves.
Sturdy, durable and imo, complete!

Great organizational tool for the Mom on the Go, September 29, 2010
My wife keeps us all organized and going in the right direction with this planner which she can easily fit into her purse or briefcase when she is on the go. We all love the funny characters and the helpful stickers. Bright and colorful so hard to misplace! Now if they would only make one for elementary aged children because my daughter is always trying to take the calendar away from her Mom.

Cute but could be much better..., August 13, 2010
I use the large Mom's Family calendar and it's wonderful. Therefore I thought I would feel the same for the planner. I really wish I had a chance to look inside as there was so much wasted space dedicated to cutesy cartoons on every other page when it could have been occupied with grocery list and/or menu planning.

AWESOME!! Can't live without it!!, July 30, 2010
I ordered my 2010-2011 Family Desk Planner and can;t wait for it to arrive. I've been using the Mom's Family Desk Planner for 2 years and it's a lifesaver. I love the way each day is broken down and split into two. I can see what I have going on and what my 4 kids have going on. A must have for busy moms.

Not bad; could be better, August 30, 2010
I really do like this book. Good space for writing, up-lifting picture every week, perforated To-Do and Grocery Lists, places for numbers important and trivial, sturdy pockets, and fun stickers beyond the "Haircut", "Dentist", etc. stickers.
I would give this book 5-stars but for the odd choices for the word stickers. There are 2 for "Game", 4 "No School", and 6 "Dance Class". This is an 18 month book and there are only going to be 2 games? I know I can write them in, but I tend to be OCD about this stuff. If one game gets a sticker, they should all get stickers - so enough for every Saturday Oct-Nov? I'm not saying that every day in a week off needs a "No School" sticker, but enough to cover 3-day weekends, in-service days, and the Monday of each week off would be nice. There are 4 for the dentist - if we see him every 6 months, there need be only 3.
I know you can't please all of the people all of the time, but overall I was pleased with this book and will purchase it again.

Durable, Big Blocks for writing, Cute Pictures, August 11, 2010
The desk planner itself is fine. Good amount of room to write info. Column for Mom and a column for everyone else. Lots of extra pages in the back for important numbers, note taking and lists (which can be removed easily).
My biggest disappointment, and this was my own fault, I searched too many calendars and forgot which had what details. Each two page set has the Week in view on the right side (with Mom column and Family columns). The left side though has a cute Sandra Boynton picture...thought it had a Menu Column and Grocery List column when I ordered it. Apparently it was a different desk calendar that had this and I got confused.
So if you want your Week in view, Your Menu for the Week and your Grocery List all on the same two-page layout...you'll have to modify it yourself with post-it notes. But the pictures are uplifting and the Week in View is great. It also has very nice and durable front and back pockets to hold things. And overall very durable. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Never shy and always laugh-out-loud funny, Sherry Argov's Why Men Marry Bitches is a sharp-witted manifesto that shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one. With the grittiest of girlfriend-to-girlfriend detail, Argov removes the kid gloves and explains why being extra nice doesn't necessarily mean he'll be more devoted. The guide shares real-life "no holds barred" interviews with men who answer the following in raw detail:

• How do men manipulate a relationship to keep it casual?
• Do men deliberately push women's emotional buttons?
• How can she convince him commitment was his idea?
• How can she invite a proposal without saying a word?

Whether you are single, married, recently separated, or just fed up with your family members telling you to fetch a husband because time is running out, Why Men Marry Bitches is the must-have guide that will show you how to exude confidence, win his heart, and get the love and respect you deserve. ... Read more

Reviews

WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES IS SUPERIOR, February 7, 2007
I respectfully disagree with the previous reviewer who said that Argov's first book was better. As a guy, I thought the exact opposite: "Why Men MARRY Bitches" gives women much more sorely-needed advice.

This book is not about marriage. It's about why single women don't enter relationships that progress, and would be a good read for single and married women.

From a male's perspective, I was amazed at how well it gets into the minds of men and tells women what makes us want to be exclusive, what makes us lose interest in other women, what we respect... "marry" nails it from a man's perspective. The first book Argov talks about things that are obvious and predictable, like whether or not to sleep with the guy on the first date. "Why Men MARRY Bitches" talks about how a guy will test a girl, how he may manipulate her to keep the relationship casual, how a guy might lead her to believe he's interested in committing and then do the "holding pattern" with the "I'm really busy with work" excuses. The advice in the last chapter on what a women should say to a guy when it isn't progressing is outstanding. It tells women why things don't progress, and that's where most women need help. They have no problem catching a guy, it's keeping him around where it gets messed up and that's why "Why Men Marry Bitches" is superior.

Also, I can confirm Argov would have no way of knowing the things she discloses in this book unless she actually sat down and interviewed us men. I found myself saying under my breath, "Who told her this?" on almost every page. I was blown away by the discussions of how men are made to feel they are "filling a position" when a women talks about "wanting to get married" (but doesn't matter to whom). It is such valuable information for women to read.

I also think the chapter called "Wanted Joe Paycheck" in "Why Men Marry Bitches" is brilliant. Argov describes that a guy won't mind paying for a dinner, but we won't attach himself to a woman who has the "attitude of entitlement." There are really good examples about women planning the excessive wedding arrangements, a woman who quits her job without consulting with her fiance, and so on....it's something EVERY SINGLE woman needs to educate herself on if she wants to keep a guy around because we will not commit if we feel like an ATM machine.

There's no question most women don't even know how they are being perceived by men. So they are trying to get respect but don't know how. I like and respect women, and think they should be treated with respect, which is what the author is teaching women to demand.

I gave "Why Men Marry Bitches" five stars. If I could, I would give this book six. It's a very "real" book that is also entertaining and funny--and both men and women should absolutely pick it up.

So that's why..., June 13, 2009
I am so glad I got this book. It's about claiming your empowerment as a female and not backing down. It's not about being mean, as some might think, it's about using your brain and getting what you want. I appreciated the author's candor and insight and thought this was one of the better dating/relationship guides on the market today. Another good one How To Be Wanted: Use the Law of Attraction to Date the Man You Most Desire and Live the Life You Deserve.

to understand what you read, February 19, 2007
Great Book. I would like to join the rest of the readers in their positive reviews. I would like to point out though that there is a possibility for some immature (unwise) women to follow its advices blindly -- to become completely aloof, unobtainable, scarce in relationship etc -- which will lead to ruining the relationship altogether.. The WISE thing to learn here is : to be nice,sweet AND self confident at the same time , to be available AND aloof when it's needed, to be reliable AND independent, to love him AND love your self at the same time ... etc .. For some people the book may come across as a " game playing" manual. I can see that. But for those who is able to THINK and analyze the book will be nothing but a manual guide to learning as to how to respect ourselves and to not become a shadow of those who we love. Very good book. Could be very shoking to very nice and sweet women. This book is a MUST for every woman. ..
p.s. sorry for not perfect English.

EVEN BETTER than "Why Men Love B's"!!!, February 13, 2007
EVEN BETTER than "Why Men Love B's"!!!

If you're already in a relationship and read just one book, read this book! Every woman is doing herself a favor by reading Why Men Marry B's. Sherry teaches how to tell the difference between a guy seriously thinking about marriage and a guy stringing you along. You'll see with new eyes on:

-the signs of a serious, loving, committed guy

-the subtle hooks "high powered, successful" men use to lure women.

-how guys bait and use us using traditional and societal values under the pretence of being a potential guy.

-"guy" culture:

In Why Men Marry B's, you'll discover that how women were raised and how men think are like night and day. Many of the things women "should do" actually Hinder them from getting a proposal and -oh if more women knew!-
make men thnk less of them to boot. This book is like sitting in the living room on Superbowl Sunday with interviews from guys who share invaluable information not very obvious to most women.

I felt that Sherry is a sincere, caring person who is looking out for us, kind of like a favorite sister who gives you all the best advice.

I used this book to realize that a guy who I used to think "might be" (the one) was very smooth- he was messing with me in a subtle way thats difficult to spot except - thank God for this info! This is more than a book about relationships - the ideas helped me to expand my feminine intelligence to live in the world with confidence. I now have more confidence to pursue my career. I had 2nd thoughts as to whether going for my MBA was a good idea but I know now that life should be lived to the fullest.

As a woman in my mid-20s I thought that maybe guys my age weren't serious or mature enough yet to think about marriage but after reading this book and asking my guy friends about the material - they agreed and confessed that deep down they are just as serious as women about marriage but just waiting for the right one.

There are so many men in the world ready to exploit meetings with naive, well-intentioned women who just want todo the right thing and be good to society and be good to men. The "players" of the world know this and prey on these women (like I used to be). Sherry's book saved me and my female friends from so many potential traps from guys who use promises of committment and marriage as the bait.

For example, I used to listen to my 30-something roommate cry and sob about the mistakes she made, if only she was more, and the guy she loved so much. Now I realize that very little of the relationship was her fault, he was extremely selfish and manipulated her feelings the whole way through.

Why Men Marry B's helped me feel Real Self-Confidence and Dignity in myself-like a fresh breather, it feels great to take care of ME..and then I realized maybe I can do a little better when my self-esteem is whole :) I'm definitely worth all the time and energy I used to spend on others(!)

AS HILARIOUS AS STAND UP COMEDY, AND AS SMART AS A WHIP, June 18, 2006

"Why Men Marry Bitches" is the best book on relationships. Whenever my male friends read through the book they say, "Wow. She is 100% right. How did she get this information?"

What I LOVE so much about this book is that it shows you HOW men view commitment, and the REAL reasons why men don't want to get involved. In the book, men reveal that they want an emotional connection as much as women do, but often feel they aren't "special" because most women seem like they want a commitment...with ANYBODY. Doesn't matter who the guy is, she wants a commitment before she knows his middle name. And Argov explains with crystal clarity exactly what turns men off, and how a few small modifications in a woman's words or actions makes all the difference in the world.

For example, the author explains that women sometimes ask questions or say things like "Where is this going?" or "What are your intentions?" before she even knows where the guy lives. When a guy gets those types of questions, he automatically assumes she is in love with "the idea" of a commitment, or that she's in love with "the wedding" or what a relationship represents. At that point he keeps her at arm's length, because (as men explain in their own words) what they dream of is a woman who is in love....WITH WHO HE IS! She won't just commit to anyone.

Argov has a rare ability to make you laugh and at the same time helps you realize how to do better. It's a feel good read that is entertaining and brilliant at the same time. You walk away feeling like you stand a little taller, and that men are likeable, sensitive and human. If you've ever wondered why most relationships stall after two or three months, after reading this book, YOU'LL GET IT.

What I love most is the fact that Argov doesn't tell you what you are doing wrong...she explains how you can do it right. She never talks down to the reader. She doesn't bash men. She even makes fun of herself. She gives you the feeling that she's down to earth and real, and that she's kicking back over a beer with you hanging out and cheering you up like a sister would. But at the same time, she gives the kind of seasoned advice that a relative or best friend would give about dignity and pride. And of course, she shows you how to turn the typical dating dynamic around so that he comes away feeling like COMMITMENT WAS HIS IDEA!

If you buy this book and get past the title--you will find it refreshing, hilariously funny, and extremely enlightening. I never give 5 stars for anything. But this one is 5 star worthy because of the information....as well as the entertainment comedy value. You'll laugh out loud reading it.

The Only Dating Book You Will Ever Need, August 25, 2006
Let me tell you, I've read so many manuals about how to "win" a man's affection, or "trick" him into loving you. Now I tell you, THROW EVERY OTHER DATING BOOK OUT THE WINDOW because this book will tell you everything you need to know. Other self-help books perpetuate the mindset of neediness, making your self-worth dependent on the approval of a man.

NO MORE OF THIS NONSENSE! No more bending over backwards for a man, only so he can be turned off by your overt efforts and run far away. As you read Sherry's book, You feel as though your having a down to earth chat with someone who knows all the secrets to lasting love..and she reveals each and every one. Plus, Sherry is so funny, she puts you in great spirits and you feel emboldened. This book makes you feel confident, and glowing with the playful independence that will make the guy in your life see what a dream girl you truly are.

I cannot believe how this book has turned my love life around.
Now, not only do I have my dream guy wrapped around my finger, I feel absolutely fantastic about who I am.
"Relationship Principle 48: Many men reduce women to a set of givens. A man relies on the fact that...he'll be able to push your emotional buttons...When he can't, he'll often crumble and become the more vulnerable one in the relationship." This book helps you turn the tables on men, so that you aren't the one begging and obsessing over the relationship.. he is.

No more settling for less, no more feelings of inadequacy. Healthy attitudes, positive relationships, and having crazy fun being the spicy, intelligent, independent girl that men fantacize about. That's what dreams are made of. You MUST read this book! Best of luck!

I was sorry to get to the end of the book!, August 30, 2006
Sherry is an astute, funny, no-nonsense writer.

The point in life is to find out what makes YOU tick, what do YOU love about life? People are very attracted to those who are passionate about about their lives. Most importantly, YOU will like yourself a whole lot better if you're not acting like somebody's puppet. It is worth noting that the world treats you as you treat yourself.....

Contrary to what women have been taught, we need to put ourselves first and assume the Captain Of My Own Ship attitude in relationships. We aren't meant to be reduced to the role of First-Mate. We understand when our guys take care of themselves by: going to the gym, rescheduling a date because of an important presentation first thing in morning, spending time with their buddies, honoring previous commitments made with others regardless that WE want to see them, etc. How about demonstrating that same loyalty to ourselves?

Ladies, it is so easy to exhibit the 'get over yourself' attitude with a guy who's misbehaving if you don't care...and then do a complete 180 with the man who floats our boat.
We then lament that God is playing a cruel joke on us and doesn't want us to be truly happy.....that we should 'settle', instead. Now put yourself in the guy's shoes. Don't you enjoy a challenge? Sure, the point is to win....eventually, that is.
Don't play hard to get. But don't be easy to get, either. Qualify a man before you share the most precious part of your soul with him.

If enough women will take Sherry's revelations to heart, less men would be jerks. Sure, some of them have character flaws, but others who are otherwise decent human beings will push the envelope. Would you put up with reckless behavior toward your relationship from your friends, families, or anyone else? Well, then.......When they experience women's refusal to put up with unacceptable behavior on a massive level, they will change - as Sherry points out, they want relationships, too. Sometimes it is necessary to delay instant gratification and go for the gold by sticking to your guns. A fringe benefit will manifest when you hold yourselves in high regard - his regard of you increases immensely!

Sisters unite!

God Bless You.

Self confident women are indeed sexy, but her relationship advice is for the cavewoman, March 9, 2007
The good news is that comedian Sherry Argov's relationship-advice focused "Why Men Marry Bitches" is an improvement on the dating-focused "Why Men Love Bitches." Her basic premise of men wanting self-confident, assertive, and competent women is dead on, and several of the 75 "relationship principles" are quite accurate. The bad news is that the majority of her advice is not only bad but potentially outright destructive to the majority of modern relationships. I come up with 3 stars after averaging a worthy 5 for the message of self-esteem with a 1 for some utterly bone-headed assumptions.

On the positive side, Argov's basic message is quite sound. To quote the author, "men want a competent woman who can think for herself, handle her business, take charge, and tell him to knock off the foolishness," and many of the 75 points explain exactly why this is the case. Some advice is dead on accurate; dressing for success, being yourself, realizing that you can't change someone, making sure you're happy with who you are and "standing up for what you believe in a decent and honest way" are all really good points that tackle some basic mistakes women who aren't experienced in relationships (and some who are) make. The underlying message of self-respect comes through loud and clear; unsurprisingly, the basic premise of "if a woman thinks all she has to offer is sex...(she's less desirable)" is the backbone of an entire chapter. Good stuff.

Where it fails miserably is her relationship advice. In fairness, there the occasional nugget or two like "Just like women can't get too many compliments, a man can't get too much appreciation for his contribution." Any number of psychologists will tell you the same but far more murkily, and warning women about an "attitude of entitlement" scaring men away is a valuable insight.

Unfortunately, despite her attempt to survey a number of men, Argov's knowledge of the male gender appears to be limited to what she's heard women describe men as and then attempting to confirm this opinion rather than the much harder task of trying to put herself in men's shoes. As such, there are rampant sexist and inaccurate assumptions. A particularly egregious stereotype is that "men (are) socialized to think women are the weaker sex," and that men "want to turn back the clock" and "jest about women in the police force...and military." The sole objective of a man with a woman is "obviously...to jump into bed." In short, men haven't evolved from the Cro-Magnon age.

With this shaky basis of understanding comes some pretty shaky advice. Men get turned off by "my clock is ticking" and "so where do we stand" according to Argov because it's "too obvious," where what truly turns off many are that children and marriage are a continuation of a great relationship, not a goal in and of itself. More troubling are tidbits like "avert a fight (over bad behavior)...with one sentence responses" and "negotiations should be 95% nonverbal." This may get women what they want near term, but if they can't come up with an effective way to communicate with their partners about such issues any relationship is in real danger longer term. Men can be made to cook dinner by a deal agreeing that whomever gets home first does so, except if the woman gets home early they should drive around randomly to make sure he does instead. This resembles the disastrous advice in her first book about how a woman whose husband didn't want to pay for housekeeping services simply claimed to spend a little more for grocery shopping and paid for it that way behind his back. Anyone who follows this advice is going down a path of behavior that can really lead to two issues that can destroy most relationships - control and trust. It may work for a while, but if you're not careful your next book will be Shirley Glass' Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity as a postmortem since you probably won't have a working relationship for long.

Still, her advice on self-esteem is worth a read especially for those in the midst of a bad relationship. Argov is a comedian by training, and the book is relatively funny. However, using the messily divorced Meg Ryan and Kim Basinger's words as points to live by really nails the problem: often good thoughts, but incredibly bad application since strangely enough, ultimately they weren't able to make their relationships work.

Instead, for the non-professionals, Greg Behrendt offers a lot more insight into the male mind with He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, and Carolyn Hax a lot more reasonable advice on how healthy relationships function with Tell Me About It: Lying, Sulking, Getting Fat... and 56 Other Things Not to Do While Looking for Love. For more heavy duty problems, try Haltzman's "Secrets" series - the book targeted towards women is The Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less but both are worth reading - and John Gottman's large body of work, starting with Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last.

Sherry is the Best!, June 7, 2006
I must say, if I had "Why Men Marry Bitches" a while back, I probably would have gotten to the altar sooner! This book, in my opinion, is a must-have for those dating, already in a relationship OR married (I think), like me. The more I read it, and it's been several times, I am kicking myself because hindsight is the BEST sight, and Sherry sure provides that in practical yet witty prose. She really gives very direct, practical yet VERY readable advice laced with good humour, with the theme being this: women have to value themselves, have their own lives and treasure all that BEFORE, DURING and AFTER meeting the man/men who could be "the one". Sherry really takes a very direct approach to her subject matter; I especially liked the chapter on "Female Button Pushing". Whereas before I would have reacted a certain way if my spouse wanted to "push my buttons" and annoy me, Sherry advises not getting emotional and keeping one's cool. All the chapters are really informative and great, but another one that caught my attention is the chapter on "Joe Paycheck". Basically, it touches upon financial independence being a great asset to a woman in terms of desirability. No, not being a millionairess or having won the "diamond award" or "Realtor of the year" (though it is great for a woman to accomplish that!) for how many houses you've sold, but resourceful and willing to stand on your own two feet financially, showing that you are not going to be dependent on him. Boy, I know I am laying myself bare here, but that's one that I could've learned a long time ago. (Yes, I was among those who was not very savvy financially when it came to what I could contribute.)Ultimately, Sherry's advice really boils down not only to a woman being attractive to other men, but more importantly, a woman really being attractive to HERSELF. GO BABES! I really loved this book and recommmend it highly.

Fantastic!, June 18, 2006
I recommend this book to every woman who wish to read a FANTASTIC and ENTERTAINING book abour relationship!

Sherry Argov is an AMAZING writer!!! "Why Men Marry Bitches" not only reflects why men behaves a certain way..... but Sherry had actually gathered all the information based on FACTS! They were based from the responses she had gathered from men! Therefore, this book is not based solely on a woman's perspective, but as well as from men themselves!

As Sherry had mentioned in her book, "Confident women are in VERY short supply and that a CONFIDENT woman is what men find the sexiest!" This book teaches woman to value herself! I greatly recommend you to find out why you will LOVE the book as much as I did! ... Read more

Editorial Review

UPDATED, WITH NEW MATERIAL BY THE AUTHOR"WOMEN WHO RUN WITH THE WOLVES isn't just another book. It is a gift of profound insight, wisdom, and love. An oracle from one who knows."--Alice WalkerWithin every woman there lives a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. She is the Wild Woman, who represents the instinctual nature of women. But she is an endangered species. In WOMEN WHO RUN WITH THE WOLVES, Dr. Est�s unfolds rich intercultural myths, fairy tales, and stories, many from her own family, in order to help women reconnect with the fierce, healthy, visionary attributes of this instinctual nature. Through the stories and commentaries in this remarkable book, we retrieve, examine, love, and understand the Wild Woman and hold her against our deep psyches as one who is both magic and medicine. Dr. Est�s has created a new lexicon for describing the female psyche. Fertile and life-giving, it is a psychology of women in the truest sense, a knowing of the soul."This volume reminds us that we are nature for all our sophistication, that we are still wild, and the recovery of that vitality will itself set us right in the world."--Thomas Moore Author of Care of the Soul"I am grateful to WOMEN WHO RUN WITH THE WOLVES and to Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Est�s. The work shows the reader how glorious it is to be daring, to be caring, and to be women. Everyone who can read should read this book."--Maya Angelou"An inspiring book, the 'vitamins for the soul' [for] women who are cut off from their intuitive nature."--San Francisco Chronicle"Stands out from the pack . . . A joy and sparkle in [the] prose . . . This book will become a bible for women interested in doing deep work. . . . It is a road map of all the pitfalls, those familiar and those horrifically unexpected, that a woman encounters on the way back to her instinctual self. Wolves . . . is a gift."--Los Angeles Times"A mesmerizing voice . . . Dramatic storytelling she learned at the knees of her [immigrant] aunts."--Newsweek ... Read more

Reviews

The Inner Wellspring, February 8, 2000
Reading the other customer reviews, I find it very interesting to see how different they are, and how different many of them are from my experience.

I was surprised to read the review on this page by the woman who believes we ought to read Jung first (or instead). My experience is the opposite; when I've picked up Jung's original works I've found them tough to follow, but this book I found very accessible and useful. I don't think the comparison between the Bible and a tv evangelist is at all fair. It's more like the difference between Strunk & White and the Oxford English Dictionary. The OED is wonderful, but Strunk & White is the one that is most likely to help you become a better writer.

Although I think of myself as a creative person, I tend to downplay that part of myself and to lead with my left brain, as it were. Reading this book I felt like I was being given a path to my inner wellspring. I felt that I had at last found water for a thirst I hadn't quite been able to identify until now.

This book is about one's inner life. It is not a how-to book, it's not political (except in the sense that the personal is political), and I didn't feel that it over-emphasized "what's wrong with you," as another reader put it. It does continually nudge one to think about what might be wrong: many many women are cut off from their own preferences, their own inner selves, because they feel pressured to conform with societal norms. Many societal norms are, in my opinion, quite damaging and inappropriate. It is very easy in American society to get the impression that women should be seen and not heard. Women are still encouraged to focus on how we look, to be compliant, to act ladylike and be nice even when we are being denigrated, and to stand by our man no matter what. We are encouraged to help others at the expense of our own happiness, and many many of us fall into this trap without even realizing it. We think it is normal to put ourselves last, and we lose touch with the shames and the fears that keep us from being happy, wiping the subject of happiness off the table with a dismissive hand as something that is too indulgent or not important.

This book helped me realize the ways in which I stand in my own way, and it gave me courage and inspiration.

The author is not only a Jungian analyst, but a storyteller. She is steeped in the traditions of storytelling from both the Latin and the Hungarian sides of her family, and I very much enjoyed the ways in which she uses this legacy of the storyteller as healer to make her points. I never thought of storytelling in this way before, but reading this book I found it to be true. (I feel that her stories have helped heal me.) I am a storyteller myself, of a sort, so for me the book was a kind of homecoming. If you have ever wondered why fairy tales seem so cruel and peculiar, you will find the answers in this book. Fairy tales have been mangled in the translation, but this author shows you where they came from and what they are really about.

While I am a huge believer in free-market capitalism, growth, business, and civilization (as opposed to back-to-nature Green-ery), I have tremendous concerns about the increasingly violent and impersonal nature of our society. This book shows you how to cultivate a healing, loving attitude toward the world without becoming a doormat--quite the contrary, it shows how love can give you more strength and power than you'll ever find in a boardroom.

Another review on this page criticized the book for not putting these issues into a broader context of one's life. It took twenty years for this author to distill her wisdom of storytelling and her knowledge of Jungian archetypes into this lovely, readable book. For me, that's quite an accomplishment. I'm more than willing to take it the rest of the way myself.

The 15th Read in 2006, January 11, 2006
Since this book was first published in 1992, I have made it my New Year's resolution to re-read Women Who Run with the Wolves every year. I have given more copies of this book away than I can remember - and I am thrilled to do so. I begin again in 2006 for the 15th full reading (though I pick a page throughout the year to journal with and 'wake me up'.)

To begin the wondrous journey of discovery to my wild and intutive self is a gift and a new journey to uncovering the jewel within. New depths of power are accessed with every reading and I am bathed in feminine myth and mystery. This book has inspired me to design, write, accomplish and accept fulfillment at so many levels. Please read this book. Women Who Run with the Wolves is a MUST tool for every female. It's a treasure. Elaine Maginn Sonne, PhD, Author Legends of the Stones.

A Brilliant woman writes about the exceptional in women, September 13, 2005
This book is so different, so astounding, that it defies catagorization. The concept of analyzing ancient legends and folk tales to reveal the inner nature of women and the patterns in womens' lives felt revolutionary to me when I first sat down with this book. But then, as I read each segment and digested the author's analysis and correlation with typical life patterns experienced by women, I realized that she tapped into truths which are as ancient as the folk tales and legends themselves. Besides that, she is one of the most ELOQUENT writers I've ever had the pleasure to read. Her observations and their resulting lessons are so profound, so insightful they take my breath away at times. I just have to sit back, take a deep breath, shake my head and reread the section that just overwhelmed me.

My favorites are "Skeleton Woman" and "Baubo the Belly Goddess". I don't want to give away any surprises... so just get this wonderful book and read these chapters for yourself! I've read it straight through, and then gone back to re-experience my favorite chapters. This book can be enjoyed either way! I would so love to meet this woman at a booksigning.

Wisdom and Native Lore: Women's Traditional Stories Retold, June 1, 2000
Ancient cultures the world over have all had oral traditions as the roots of their literature, both for the purposes of education and entertainment.

In the darkness by the fireside, story-tellers enthralled their fellow tribesmen with tales handed down through countless generations and centuries.

What determines which stories are told and re-told on through the ages? Usually, they are tales which illustrate a moral value, a particular quality or a lesson that a particular society deems important. Whether it be a cautionary tale or a legend demonstrating a virtue, we get great insights into what is valued by examining the old, old stories.

Until recent years with the advent of Women's Studies on university campuses, the teachings imparted to one's daughters and grandaughters were often overlooked. That glaring omission has been rectified through Clarissa Pinkola Estes' incredible book.

"Women Who Run With the Wolves" is not light reading by any means, but is a scholarly exploration of the feminine character. Has civilization tried to strangle our basic "Wild Woman" inner natures? And, if so, at what cost has the shrew been tamed?

"Women Who Run With the Wolves" contains some familiar stories from our collective childhoods: The Little Match Girl and Bluebeard. But these are not the soothing, toned-down versions to read by your toddlers' bedsides. Instead, they are terrifying and real.

Estes, who is both a Jungian analyst/psychologist and professional storyteller, vividly recounts the visceral details of often violent folklore.

Not only are European nursery tales included, but the book is global in scope. Estes also weaves in less familiar traditions, such as stories from the Lakota Indians. The one element running through all the stories is how they relate to women's lives and spirits.

In each section, the author gives a scholarly overview of why the tale was told, what values it imparted, and why the story still speaks to us today. She also recounts the story with great dramatic narrative, and it is easy to imagine oneself listening to the tale around a flickering campfire late at night.

Ancient wisdom coupled with modern psychological insights make reading this book a mind-expanding experience.

Read IT, LOVED IT 12 years ago and still do, August 29, 2006
When I see young women who don't trust their gut feelings, who don't envision their full potential, who allow abuse, who lack self-confidence, I WISH THEY WOULD READ "Women Who Run With Wolves." This is not an "easy read," but DO READ IT and become a powerful woman on the inside -- a woman whose soul is steady and strong -- a "Wild Woman." The author of this book taught me the wisdom and lessons of ancient "fairy tales." This author taught me to strengthen my core, my soul, trust my own wisdom, listen to myself and stand tall and firm and strong.

This book helped me get over mistakes of the past, and prevent many future mistakes. Re-reading it always gives me strength and courage and builds my self-confidence.

Also, today, as an "Old Woman" I cannot stand by and quietly watch young women lose their souls. I must "teach" in a quiet, kind, gentle way. And, recommend this book !! I hope you love it, as I did and do.

This book is for anyone who is sick of being tame!, March 25, 2001
This is one of my all time favorite books. I have underlined parts that made me say "A-ha!" out loud and the parts that made me question...parts that helped me work through things. There are also numerous notes in the margins. To say it's dog-eared would be an understatement...

If you love myths and folklore this book is for you.

If you feel lost this book is for you. If you are suffering from the too-nice syndrome this book is for you.

This book will challenge you to let out the fierce creature that is inside. Do you dare?

A life-changing, warmly written book., September 13, 1999
I found this to be an intelligent, accessible book geared toward women. The author uses age-old stories to help the reader understand her life, her heart and her soul better. It is in no way a book against men. It does not encourage irresponsibility or the development of a feral personality. It does encourage women to look inside themselves, to bring out the creativity and emotion within. The book does encourage women to respect and take care of themselves. It is a book, to be slowly read, about healing the soul.

Energize Your World, December 10, 1999
A sweet reminder for women to pull back, reflect and re-energize. Dr. Estes informs women to be creative and links individual creativity to soul essence. Dr. Estes maintains a women's knowing is in her bones, at the cellular level and gives interesting representation through ancient story telling. An enriching narrative to help women get in touch with their instincts especially for those that have been to hell and back. She gives us food for thought as to the topworld and underworld, the conscious and unconscious and how to bridge these worlds to maintain a healthy, happy and CREATIVE life. A must read for anyone wanting to gain further access to spirituality.

Awe inspiring!, January 1, 2006
This book is absolutely incredible! A must read for those seeking answers to nagging questions and insight into complex, difficult behavior. The author truly offers women of all walks of life an interpretive key to their own psyches. Clarissa leads the way to experiencing one's own soul song. Many blessings upon her!!!

This will always be on top of my bookshelf, August 17, 2005
I can't begin to describe how beneficial this book is. In fact, I would run out of space here before I even got halfway through an explanation. I will forever be referencing this book and gaining new insights with each read. I have a notebook full of notes that I took as I read the book, and applied her statements to my life, and events therein. It explained so much, and made a remarkable connection to just about everything. As I go through my "phases" in life, I expect more notebooks of scribbled notes, page references and quotes that will certainly apply and give new insights. I've given a copy to all my closest girlfriends and they too loved it. Every woman should read this book and keep a copy handy! ... Read more

Editorial Review

Constantly bombarded with messages on how to think, how to feel, how to look, it can be very easy to fall into the mindset that we somehow fail as individuals, that we are not enough. But the truth is, those aspects of ourselves that make us individuals are actually the source of our own beauty, our super power. The Beauty of Different explores beauty in eight fresh ways and challenges the reader to revel in her own uniqueness. Combining beautiful imagery, portraiture, insightful commentary, essays, and interviews, this multisensory exploration of what is really beautiful provokes deeper self-discovery. Designed to connect and inspire, The Beauty of Different encourages the reader to reframe her differences, not as shortcomings, but as characteristics of distinction--maybe even superpowers. ... Read more

Reviews

Buy this book and give it to your daughter, November 5, 2010
I read this whole book in a single sitting and found myself nodding and learning and thinking and wanting to wake up my daughter to read it to her so that she'll know all of these important lessons now, rather than as I'm learning them in my 30's. Karen's work is moving and her photography is amazing. A perfect gift for others and one I plan on giving out to my family.

Beautiful, November 9, 2010
The Beauty of Different is one of those books that you want to sit and read all at once, and I did. But, it's also a book that deserves your time, it's a book that you'll go back to again and again -- to absorb, to reflect, to be inspired.

I found myself touching each picture, running my fingertips over them as if I could feel their depth and textures with them.

I sat reading it, nodding, sighing and feeling.

Karen has a unique way of looking at the world and a gift for story telling and sharing. Through her words, her pictures and her subject's stories -- I found myself wanting to change the way that I view myself and the world. I want to look for the beautiful, take the time to find it and relish it.

I want to tell everyone about this book because everyone should see these words and images and most especially, the message.

I will be buying this book for friends and family.

beautifully different, November 2, 2010

The Beauty of Different is just that - different! I buy a lot of books, and often find myself reading just the first few pages or the first half, getting distracted or not being inspired and leaving them, often not coming back. This book was different. From the first pages I was hooked and read the whole thing within 12 hours of owning it. More than a few of Karen's interviews and stories had me in tears, and although it is about the differences and uniqueness of every individual, what the book also did was reveal the real universality of being human. I found myself wanting to be interviewed by the author so that I could see myself and my story through her lens.

Intimate and delightful, this is a book that you will dip into again and again!

Fabulous Read, November 27, 2010
WOW! This book is absolutely fabulous! I could hardly put it down. Not only is it beautiful to the eyes, it is so full of beautifully written words that I feel transformed just having read them! Karen has such a talent for showing the beauty of this world to us. As I was reading, I was hoping that my 12 year-old daughter would also want to read the book because it is so full of plain truths that we should all recognize. As soon as I finished, she picked it up and started reading for herself and she loves it as well! I plan on purchasing more copies for friends to read. Karen reminds us that we are all beautiful - in our own ways!!!

The Beauty of Different, October 27, 2010
I highly recommend KAREN WALROND'S book, "THE BEAUTY OF DIFFERENT". Karen captured the beauty of every subject she photographed and wrote about. You are truly a very talented author and photographer.
L J Seegobin ... Read more

Editorial Review

Hot on the heels of last year's runaway success, Porn for Women, the female pornographers from Cambridge are now tackling the fantasies of new mothers. What really turns them on? The CWPC locked themselves in the lab for months to find out. And the results are in this scientifically proven, steamy photo collection of hunky guys doing exactly what new mothers want. Prepare to enter a fantasy world, a world where men insist on changing diapers, where guys get up for 3 a.m. feedings, and where they just can't help but admire mom's sexy all-sweatpants wardrobe. Page after page of titillating shots and dream-worthy captions will make every mother swoon. In fact, it might just leave her begging for more. . . . Oh, daddy! ... Read more

Editorial Review

This mother's memory journal takes you on a journey that will become a cherished family memoir. Designed in a 12-month format, each month features 12 intriguing questions with space to write a personal answer. Questions explore family history, childhood memories, lighthearted incidents, cherished traditions, and the dreams and spiritual adventures encountered in a lifetime of living. Her written words become windows to a mother's heart. ... Read more

Reviews

Only one complaint, February 21, 2008
I like this book overall. It is nice to write down stories from my life and know that one day my daughter will read it and know me better when she is ready and willing. However, my only complaint is that the book seems to have a lot of references to religion such as favorite scripture or church activities. For someone who is not at all religious, it feels awkward.

excelent book, September 22, 2007
this is a fantastic book. if you know a mother who is going through a rough time, this is a great way for her to share her life with her family and friends. i have terminal cancer, and have bought this book for several other women who are going through treatment. everyone thinks this is a great idea.

What a wonderful book for you and your family, August 29, 2007
My sister had told me about this book that she had just got. She kept telling me more and more about it that it got me very curious. Just got it yesterday and have to say that it is even BETTER then I had even hoped for. A Mother's Legacy is a book that you write down all of your life stories. It is written so that the book asks your questions. ie "what is your favorite memory of Christmas and your favorite Christmas song?" This is a book I wish my mother and grandmother had, so that I could know more about their lives. If you have children this is a WONDERFUL book to get for yourself to pass on to your children. Or I have been thinking bout buying many and giving it to women I know for Christmas gifts. Another great idea would be to give this as a baby shower gift.
I rated this only 5 stars but if I could I would have given it 10 stars. A wonderful Book!

Great book!, January 9, 2009
This is an awesome book! I researched many of the books out there before buying this series for my husband, my mom, and myself to fill out for my son. This was a great pick and a great deal! Of course, you're going to find that some of the questions may not apply to you but overall it is an awesome book that allows you to share your life with your child.

A great gift for any mother, December 26, 2008
Having lost my mother at age five, I value all of her written mementos (my baby books, her journals) so so very much. They mean so much to me that I make sure to leave as much in writing for my children as I can so they will always know how much I love them and how much they have changed my life. This book is perfect for me because it allows me to be creative and write about myself in a way that my children will love and appreciate. I've since purchased this book for my best friend and aunt.

Excellent book for getting to know your mother more, February 14, 2008
I ordered this book for my mom, and recieved it today. I read all the questions, and it's really pretty neat. But now I'm contemplating whether or not to give it to her for no apparent reason or to give it to my sister for her birthday. I think I might have to order about 5 more of these so I can send them to all the extraordinary women in my life. :) I would definatly say this is a great buy as a gift!

disappointed, June 16, 2009
The book is lovely, the titles revelant, my only complaint is the print is so light I can barely read it and I know my mother-in-law will have an ever harder time reading the print.

Great Writing Tool, May 29, 2009
Having lost my mother several years ago, I can attest to the value of a mother's written legacy to her children. Her hand written journals and poetry are precious to me now. Having these in her own hand writing rather than on a typed page makes them so much more personal and special. This book is a great tool to inspire someone unaccustomed to writing or journaling as it prompts thinking and gives direction in what to write by the questions it asks. Have a few on hand to give as baby shower gifts so the new mother can begin recording early events. Would make a great gift to give a grandmother as well.

Mother's Legacy, December 28, 2008
It is a wonderful way to leave some of your life's moments for your children. It brings back memories you had forgotten and brings a smile to your face on lots of them. I'd recommend it for anyone who wants something personal to give their children. Mine loved it.

Healing, December 18, 2008
My daughter gave me this book after my mother died. Writing about my childhood helped me to capture the good memories that I had of Mom and it helped me to realize that she will always be with me, as I will always be in the hearts of my children.
... Read more

Editorial Review

The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. We spend too much precious time and energy managing perception and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. As hard as we try, we can’t seem to turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like, “Never good enough!” and “What will people think?”

Why? What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance we might think it’s because we admire perfection, but that’s not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are “real” – we’re drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance.

There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what and how we’re supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.

Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth:Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we’re all in this together.

Dr. Brown writes, “We need our lives back. It’s time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection – the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives.” ... Read more

Reviews

Powerful book and an engaging read, February 6, 2007
To be perfectly upfront, I would like to acknowledge that I am a friend and colleague of the author, Bren� Brown. But also to be perfectly upfront, I would really appreciate her book even if I was not.

This book is powerful in its scope and impact as it lays out what shame is, how women respond to shame, and how women can respond differently to shame in order to become shame resilient.

Bren� helps women identify what their shame triggers are, how to develop a critical awareness about how shame is impacted by larger forces in our lives, such as media images of extremely thin and beautiful women, how women can reach out to others, and how to learn to "speak shame."

As Bren� was writing the book and I was reading early drafts, I was already learning to apply her concepts to my life. For instance, previously when I experienced a shameful moment I would curl up in a little ball of pain, constantly replay the shamming incident in my head, castigate myself over and over, and then wait for the passage of time to relieve some of my symptoms, although even years later I could get flashbacks of the event and the accompanying pain. Today, due to Bren� and her book, I react very differently. I call multiple friends and share my painful story and seek out comfort, caring, and empathy. I begin to "contexualize" the shameful event, that is, I see how political, economic, and social forces have shaped my personal experiences. For instance, that expectation that women must be "superwoman" juggling kids, work, partners" perfectly, which is an unreasonable expectation that no woman can live up to. That helps put my experience into context and allow me to see the broader picture.

This book is a gift to women from a committed scholar and researcher. Although the hype on many books is that "it will change your life," this book has that potential. And it doesn't hurt that it is written in an accessible, friendly tone with many stories to illustrate her ideas that will make you both laugh and cry.

I highly recommend the book. I predict it will be one of those books you read and then go out and buy for your mother and sisters and best friend. I know I did.

Well Done, February 14, 2007
I had the interesting experience of having a patient recommend this book to me. Like the previous reviewer I'm often skeptical of pop psychology and self-help books. Human problems are always simplified and too many writers are eager to offer a quick fix. I read with a critical eye and found this book to be extremely helpful, based on solid, original research and tied to the work of some of the foremost authorities on shame and human behaviour (how can one dismiss her references to the Stone Center and Helen Block Lewis). Ironically, most of the references in the index are academic in nature (or organisations supporting research). I was able to locate her academic work and it indeed provides details on her methodology and a more thorough list of references but is far less interesting to read. If Prof. Brown was setting out to write a book that is interesting, accessible and quite helpful, I believe she is spot on.

Fresh, Ground-Breaking, Life-Changing, March 22, 2007
*****
This is an incredible book about a little-discussed subject---shame. Almost painful even to think about, the book comprehensively covers the relationship between women and shame. If you are a woman in America, you should read this book. My copy is highlighted, bookmarked, the spine is cracked and it looks like it's been through a war, but it's just been very well-read and well-used by me.

The subtitle of the book is "Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame". The book does not simply diagnose the problem with our culture, but assists women on their individual journey of processing their experiences with shame, and overcoming damage, moving to a better place of power and courage.

Apparently there are currently many shame researchers, but not much has been written about the latest research outside of academic circles. "I Thought It Was Just Me", though research-based, is written for each of us, academic or non-academic, feminist or non-feminist, religious or non-religious, in an approachable, interesting style. The material is somewhat difficult to read only because of the personal issues it triggers; other than that it is very approachable, not dry at all.

The author also discusses changing our culture, one person at a time, with the last chapters addressing how to practice courage, compassion and connection---in a culture of fear, blame and disconnection.

After reading this book I feel more empowered to be me and to stay free of shaming messages. I also feel very convicted and aware of how I have used words and looks to shame others. Of all of the non-fiction books I've read, this one has probably had the most practical impact in my life.

Highly recommended.
*****

Finding courage, stunning read, April 10, 2007
This is a book about shame. Resist the urge to be turned off, and at least read the rest of the review. You may become curious enough to pick up a copy of the book, and that might just change your life. That's right. Dr. Brene Brown has spent more than ten years wrestling down a topic that has kept millions of women captive by its power to isolate and immobilize. But, knowledge is power, and this book delivers a strong dose of empowering information about shame. It's the right medicine for the time.

Brown writes that shame is primarily about the fear of disconnection--the fear of being perceived as flawed and unworthy of acceptance. When you feel shame, it is an intensely personal experience. You feel alone. Yet in reality, every one of us experiences shame. While this experience is visceral and painful, it does not have to be incapacitating.

Through her extensive research, Dr. Brown has discerned how to develop shame resilience. In this book, she teaches you how to recognize shame triggers, how to develop critical awareness of shame issues, and how to destroy the power of shame through connection and empathy.

This is a real book for real women. Every one of us is affected by shame, and every one of us could find more freedom by learning how to develop shame resilience. Shame thrives on silence. But we don't have to be silent any more!

As Brown says, "if we can find the courage to talk about shame and the compassion to listen, we can change the way we live, love, parent, work and build relationships."

Fundamentally, this is a book about freedom. Shame has a hold on our lives in more ways than we realize, and Dr. Brown clearly explains what it takes to break the power of shame. This is a book to read and to pass along to as many friends as possible.

What would our world look like if every woman found the courage to speak in her own voice? I for one would like to find out.

Armchair Interviews says: An outstanding book packed with powerful and hopeful information on the pervasive problem of shame in women.

Helpful and Insightful, February 16, 2007
After Dr. Brown presented her shame research to the teachers at my school, I went out and bought her book. Dr. Brown's book has helped me become a better teacher and a better mom. She puts a name to what stops us from being ourselves. Dr. Brown takes away the fear of felling alone, like I am the only one this has ever happened to in the world, when in fact, most women experience many of the similar things. Thank you Dr. Brown.

Eternally Grateful, February 16, 2007
I read this book after a recommendation from a friend who knew about the struggles we were having with our teenaged daughter. This book helped me to realize how much my own past experiences with shame were getting in the way of honest communication with my daughter. It also helped me to recognize (or remember) the pressure young women face as they mature, especially in today's 24/7 media culture. Dr. Brown's accessible style and the remarkably honest stories shared by the women she interviewed turned a very difficult subject into a compelling read. I've now recommended this book to several other friends, and each of them have also found it helpful.

Because I believe the insights in this book have really allowed me to salvage my relationship with my daughter, I will be forever grateful to my friend for recommending it, and to Dr. Brown for writing it.

C.S.

WomensSelfesteem.com, July 4, 2007
About the Author: Brene' Brown, Brene' Brown is an educator, writer, and nationally renowned lecturer. She is also a member of the research faculty at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, where she recently completed a six-year study of SHAME and its IMPACT on women.
Brene's studies and research have allowed her the ability to write a very unique and informative book on a much more in depth meaning of SHAME and how it quietly manages to take control of each and every one of us. Brene' Brown presently resides in Houston, Texas, where she enjoys life with her two children and her husband.

About the Book: "I Thought It Was Just Me",
What is shame?
Can we see shame?
Can we feel shame?
Can we hide shame?
Can we overcome shame?
What does shame look like?
How is shame different from embarrassment, guilt, humiliation?
Can we pretend shame does not exist in our minds?

Shame is an emotional feeling that is strong enough and suttle enough to become one of the strongest determining forces in ones mind.
Shame will determine how you will feel and react to certain situations in your life, and none of them positive.
In Brene' Brown's book titled, "I Thought It Was Just Me" you will read her interpretation based on her studies that will answer these questions and also how "women can reclaim power and courage in a culture of SHAME". In this book you will read about SHAME in the first degree.
This book contains very informative content, along with questions that each one of us have at one time or another, wondered about in regards to why are we feeling a certain way. "I Thought It Was Just Me" is a book that you will use many times once you have read it. It is a book that will make your mind think past and outside of the box.
You will learn how shame is more of a self-evaluation than just a word to be hushed in conversation. You will also discover that shame is really about who we are as apposed to why we behave the way we do. The author has questioned and interviewed many different women and has charted her results in her book so that the readers can realate even more on a personal level. I call this book a must to read for people that are interested in understanding human emotion and a very good educator in print.
I Thought It Was Just Me will bring you real testimonials in regards to each individuals thoughts on what shame is. You will read thoughts such as this , which really says a million words in very few:
"Shame is a feeling you get when you believe that you're not worthy of anyone caring about you or loving you. That you're such a bad person that you can't even blame other people for not caring about you. You just want the floors to swallow you up"
As Brene' Brown says in her book," It's not just you, you're not alone, and if you fight the daily battle of feeling like you are-somehow-just not "enough", you owe it to yourself to read this book and discover your infinite possibillities as a human being."

Womensselfesteem.com highly recommends, "I Thought It Was Just Me" to any woman that is searching for an understanding involved with negative emotions and a new found strength within herself.

Touching, Funny, and Practical, February 28, 2007
Dr. Brown has written an immensley helpful book. It is not only an enjoyable read, it has some practical excercises for incorporating the information into one's own life. The examples she uses both from her own story and the stories of her research participants really drive home the principles. Particularly helpful to me was the chapter on "Practicing Connection in a Culture of Disconnection". Sometimes we forget how disconnected we are- this was a wake up call. It made me want to fight for a better way of living.

A Must Read for Men also, December 24, 2007
I have referred many people to this book and gifted many copies even though I have never completely read it. You see I had the enthralling experience of taking the course Dr. Brown gave on the subject of this book "Shame and Empathy" at The Jung Center in Houston. A friend commented that she believes reading this book has changed her life forever and I understand. Please know Br. Brown and her teaching on the subject has changed mine. Men experience shame too; and this book is a must-read for men also.

I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame, July 18, 2007
It seems like the epidemic that no one wants to talk about. We all try to put this perfect face out to the world. Really, I am the perfect mother, my house is completely clean, I am fulfilled in my job, I am financially successful, I am a perfect size two, I have plenty of time to connect on a deeper level with my loving husband, and I have tons of friends who I share my every thought. Well, that's what we think we should be. The truth just doesn't always match our expectations.

The problem is that somewhere along the line we lost sight of the fact that humans are perfect and our lives are often filled with reality. Try as we might, we are going to eat that cookie (or the whole bag) and gain three pounds. Our chaotic schedule is going to get the better of us and we are going to forget to bake cupcakes for the school bake sale.

I Thought It Was Just Me looks at the topic of shame. For many of us, during those moments when reality doesn't match our fantasy image of ourselves, we feel shame. Shame goes beyond simple embarrassment or irritation. Shame is a form of self abuse where we berate ourselves for not being perfect.

I Thought It Was Just Me is an important book that reminds us all that to be human is to err. Maybe it's time we all stopped trying to be everything to everyone and just tried to be ourselves. Maybe it's time we all tried being kind, compassionate, and loving (to others and to ourselves).

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Editorial Review

Ginger Plowman encourages and equips moms to reach past the outward behavior of their children and dive deeply into the issues of the heart. Giinger's candid approach will help moms move beyond the fr ... Read more